I summed up my courage
And sent emails I’ve been meaning to send for months
Putting things in motion
Let’s do the thing.

It was a truly gorgeous glorious
Blue sky Sunday and
I ran all the way to Roosevelt Island
And home again
And it felt incredible.

There was a gorgeous mushroom growing on the lawn out front
A sign the fairies had been visiting
A perfect omen that felt like a blessing
We had lunch at the diner first
And got chocolate shakes at the ice cream place
Montana printed out the design
We talked about placement and color
I chose pink
I took a breath and we began
It didn’t hurt
A little uncomfortable
But I was so full of adrenalin
And it was nothing like getting a needle
(Or a biopsy)
And when it was done
I was full of joy
I’ve been waiting 9 years to do this

And now, I have a lovely reminder
It may be exciting
Or terrifying
Or devastating
Or healing or beautiful or joyful or heartbreaking or infuriating or even
Just eh or just all of the things that encapsulate the feelings of human existence
But, like Drew in your favorite childhood movie
Here you are for ever after
A fish with wings
Standing on the precipice 
Breathe, just breathe.

​A day trip to Washington D.C.
My plan had just been to wander down the mall
See where inspiration struck
When the bus pulled into Union Station
In the early afternoon
It was 37C / 98F
I sat in the shade of the Botanical Gardens
To eat my lunch
And wandered through the exhibits
The tropical zones felt temperate by comparison to the outside

The Museum of the American Indian
Fascinating and harrowing
The opposition of perspectives
The betrayed treaties
The visual poetry of Jenny Ann “Chapoose” Taylor’s “Nations”
A beaded American flag where
The stars are made from two-letter abbreviated state names and
The stripes from the names of 456 tribes
The hidden child in the bronze statue
Edward E. Hlavka’s “Allies in War, Partners in Peace”
You have to go into the alcove to see her
Glancing up at her elders
Clutching her doll

Late in the afternoon
It was still blazingly hot but
I walked down the mall anyway
Convened with The Council of Animals
Walked all the way down to the White House
Where the secret service were cycling the perimeter 
A large group of tourists clamored at the front gate of
The People’s House
Unable to enter
But still excitedly taking selfies

A few minutes down the road
Immigrant Food
Mission: Celebrate the successes of past immigrants and positively impacts today’s immigrants who have come to America to remake their lives
I had the Persian Plants and Peas --
Seasoned chicken, split peas, crackle rice, goji berries, kale, kalamata olive dressing and fresh mint
Created by Chef Taraneh Salehi

And then, the reason for the trip in the first place
A visit to The Kennedy Center
It’s always surreal to visit places IRL
That I’ve been researching online
They’re real!
(Much like America. I grew up watching it on TV, in movies. It’s real!)
The grandness of it
I felt sweaty and gross after the heat of the day and wished I could take a shower

Up to the gods of the concert hall
For the world premier of RENT with a symphony orchestra!
It began with an overture and before I knew it
The tears were flowing
All the feelings about all the ways this musical
Has been in my life for over two decades
Through high school and uni and travel
Through loves and losses
And international moves
And cancer (my own and dad’s and my friends and the friends who aren’t here any more)
And marriage
And now separation
How do you measure--

And at the end of the night
I boarded a bus
And traveled through the early morning
Back to New York City
Where it was still hot and
Where I call home
Despite all of its crazy and
All of its terrible contradictions
And collapsed into bed.

Dinner with a new friend
Inspiring and mind boggling and also every day
Thankful thankful thankful

Watching my American colleagues
Discover Aussie treats
Assorted biscuits and iced vovos
And Allen’s mixed lollies
Musk sticks and burger rings and twisties and cheezels
And placing the flavors into their own childhoods --
Iced vovos are mini poptarts!
Mint Slice are Girl Scout cookies! 
I love them!
Made my heart feel full

Digging through the archives
Holding bits of paper that were new
Over 7 decades ago
But are now delicate and liable to rip if held incorrectly
The typed and hand-written
Words upon the paper
Hold extraordinary stories
Piecing it all together
And discovering
The treasures within

Getting to see my little baby boy
And the way he wags his tail
And so desperately wants to jumps up
And then remembers his training
And just gets all the more excited
The way he nudges and chomps
And grabs his favorite toy
And heads for the door
And runs around the yard like a lunatic
MUMMY’S HOME!
And then the way he floops into my lap
And does his contented huff
It breaks my heart into a thousand pieces every time
And I miss him
And I love him
My sweet little ridiculous floof

It was a relief to come home
And do the dishes
And water the plants
And cook some dinner
And sit in the quiet

A new musical about escaping into fairytales
And telling stories
And writing new chapters
With a female protagonist who is figuring herself out
And a non-binary bestie
And lesbian mermaids
And an uncertain prince
And painted butterflies that fly off the canvas
And lovely music and gorgeous singing
I cried so much that it hurt.