The year started twirling a “glow sword”
Because in the land of the free and the brave
It’s easier to buy a gun than a sparkler 
We applied for a fiance visa. 
I flew back to London.

In February, I started house hunting,
Visited Brighton
And saw A Chorus Line at the Palladium
I watched women in black t-shirts and bright red lipstick
Rise and dance outside Parliament House. 
We had a bake sale at the theatre.
I wandered the streets of London 
Trying to feel at home. 

In March, I saw Liza Minnelli at Royal Festival Hall.
In the midst of a snow storm
I moved to Ruislip. 
Saw my friend’s play 
Nights of Enchantment,
And over noodles, had a long and delightful conversation
With an old friend. 
One bright chilly morning
I walked from Covent Garden to the Thames to Islington. 

In April, I did quite the unthinkable
And quit my job ushering
At a west end theatre
And prepared to walk 780km across 
Northern rural Spain 
I saw the Lichtenstein retrospective at the Tate Modern
On the 30th April I caught the Eurostar
From London to Paris
And spent the day on trains heading 
South across France to the Pyrenees

On the first day of May
I walked up and down the Pyrenees 
Crossed into Navarra 
And spent the next 31 days
Walking the width of Spain 
Until I reached Santiago de Compostela 

In June, I saw War Horse at the New London.
I flew over the Atlantic
To spend the summer with my love
We went to a wedding
And a Wesslmann pop art exhibit in Richmond 
Drove through Washington DC, Jersey, New York, and Connecticut
And arrived 
Home 
At summer camp 

We staged 2 full-scale musicals 
In 8 weeks 
I taught singing and voice
And melted in the heat
Watched Yo Yo Ma and the Boston Symphony Orchestra
At Tanglewood 
And walked a rainbow chalk labyrinth
Smudged and glowing from rain 

In August
I saw Matilda, Once, and Peter and the Starcatcher in NYC
And wandered the streets of Manhattan praying for a miracle. 
I unwillingly flew back to London
And moved to the south east. 
I worked as a temp
At an international commercial property research company
Two finance firms
Two publishing houses
And spent my days behind reception desks around London
Writing and researching my play.
I saw Blue Stockings at The Globe.  

In September, I quietly turned 29
In one of the offices of London
And in the evening saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory at the 
Theatre Royal, Drury Lane, with my big brother
I saw Grounded at The Gate Theatre
And did a workshop on writing solo material 
I traveled to Bath to audition for a play 
I saw Once with my Australian singing teacher 
And remembered why I was doing what I was doing. 
I saw A Doll’s House at The Duke of York
And had to talk myself into staying for the second act. 
I went blackberry picking in Southminster 
And made a blackberry pie. 

In October, I had my interview with the US Consulate 
And was rejected
I waited for a piece of paper
Declaring my lack of criminal record
To be sent from Australia to the UK
Via snail mail
I waited for my file to be lifted from the hundreds of other files
In someone’s office
I saw Trevor Ashley perform
Liza on an E 
And Malala Yousafzai speak at Queen Elizabeth Hall
I went to the London Dungeon and SeaLife Aquarium with my first London friend 
I saw The Light Princess at the National Theatre
And a debate between the founder of No More Page 3 
And three playboy bunnies 
In Carnaby St. 
I went to Brighton with Mum and
Rode the carousel on the pier.
The next day I was the sickest I have been since moving to London
Ten months of waiting catching up with my stomach. 

In November, I saw Matilda at the Cambridge
One last time 
Walked along the Thames  
Saw the Christmas lights in Oxford St and 
Bid farewell to London.  
I flew across the Atlantic 
To be with my love
And, finally, 
We were married. 

In December 
I worked on my play
Went to my first American audition
And was cast in my first Shakespeare  
I discovered I could run in below freezing temperatures
Volunteered in a second-hand bookshop
Learnt to play the ukulele
Went to a Warhol exhibit
And wandered through Old Town admiring the fairy lights.

We started our happily ever after

The end. 

The Bean Cycle Coffee Shop,
And Wolverine Farm bookstore 
Fort Collins, CO. 
Is the most perfect of coffee/book shops

Comfy couches
Walls lined with second-hand books 
And poems 
And artworks of local artists
The smell of coffee and old books 
Handmade signs
Everything a little dusty
The old bicycle on the wall
Music plays
Audible enough to create a vibe
Chill enough to allow conversation
And reading

People sit 
Sipping coffee 
Absorbing in other worlds
Through words and print on paper 
Type away on laptops 
Face each other 
Over round tables
Conversation 
A background hum 

The kids’ corner 
Tucked away
The rocking chair and teddy bear and doll 
Mom reading to her daughter
You are welcome to sit
And read
And browse 
And drink coffee 

Small children clamber up the stairs to the loft
They turn their heads
Grin the through the railing with cheeky smiles
The clanky old register 
Books to be priced, stacked, and shelved 

I can’t even begin to describe the satisfaction of
Rows of dusty books
Sorted by category and author’s surname
Every shelf
Contains treasure, 
My “to read” list
Ever growing.
Even if I sat down and read books
Cover to cover
All day long
For the rest of my life
I would never reach 

The end.

Forty dollars,
And another form where I fill out
Every address that I have lived at
Since I was 16,
And twenty-four hours later
I receive an email to say my police background check
Is clear
And the certificate is on its way.

A week later it arrives
I book the courier
To collect my passport
Police certificate
And prayers for a speedy return

The courier collects the parcel
See you in 4-5 weeks
He says.
No.
I say.
I want to see you walking in that door with my passport and visa by the end of the week. Got it? 
He laughs. 
He doesn't get it. 

It takes the Embassy three days to process receipt of my passport.
Then nothing changes for almost three weeks.
My status reads "Ready"
It has been "Ready" since before the interview.
I lose my voice
Develop a horrible cough
I want to stay in bed and never get out.
I must be miserable to be around
I don't care.
Get me out of this limbo. I'm done. I've been waiting for 10 months.
I feel pathetic. Ten months is nothing in the grand scheme of things.

I take my first sick day since arriving in London.
I cannot face work or people or getting out of my pajamas.
Every time I've skyped Aaron in the last few days I cry. Sob uncontrollably.
I'm sick of my love being trapped behind a screen.
At 5pm the status changes.
"Administrative processing"
The stories on visa journey* are frightening.
Some people have gotten to this part of the process
And waited another year.
I feel utterly hopeless.

Another week rolls by.
Everyone is being optimistic and supportive
The system doesn't care. I am nothing. I am not human.
I am six numbers and an alien.
"Approved".
Wait, what?!
We check the website repetitively to make sure it hasn't changed.

Two days later I receive a tracking number from the courier.
My passport is on its way.
I'm headed to my love.

And after 10 months, and three weeks...
I'm on the plane! I'm on the plane! I'M ON THE PLANE! 
In ten hours I'll be with my love! 
The head of the cabin crew announces that we'll soon be landing in Denver
It is minus 10 degrees celcius outside
Every passenger does a double take

We are the only plane landing at this time
The customs queue is short
I have read that I may be taken to a separate room for my customs interview
I am called
The officer doesn't make eye contact
I hand over my passport
And a thick sealed envelope from the embassy
Containing all my documents
X-rays, police certificates, birth certificates
And every address I have lived at since I was 16. 

Right thumb on the screen please Miss Lyons. 
(Right thumb on the screen). 
When did you last leave the United States Miss Lyons? 
I left at the end of August...
Silence. 
I was here on a J1. For camp.
I know. 
I laugh a little. He has still not made eye contact. 
Four fingers of your right hand please Miss Lyons. 
(Four fingers of my right hand on the screen). 
You know you have 90 days to marry.
Yep! 
He doesn't look up. He stamps my passport, places the envelope in a pile. 
Congratulations. Thank you Miss Lyons. NEXT. 

The world is covered in snow
And I'm with my love
Everything is going to be WONDERFUL! 
Now we just have to get married! 

I love a good wedding
All my friends will tell you
I’m the first to cry at them
Be there to sing and dance and by merry
And celebrate the legal uniting of 
Two souls

I’ve been to weddings in gardens
On farms 
In churches
I’ve had the privilege of speaking at weddings
And singing in the ceremony
I love watching friends and family
Declare love
To their loved ones 

And for my own wedding
I wanted exactly no part of the circus
I’ve been engaged once before
We started preparing a wedding
Picked a date, went dress shopping, drafted lists, looked at venues
Learnt that the minute you mentioned
“Wedding” instead of “party”
The prices instantly doubled 

I discovered that 
Every. Person. In. The. World.
Has. An. Opinion.
And if you don’t listen to, and follow through, with their 
Sage advice
You will be DOOMED
Or offend, insult, or have yourself struck from the family tree. 

Instead of perusing wedding magazines
And blogs
Or attending fairs and conventions
Or sitting with girlfriends and sisters over coffee
Discussing details
I read about the history of weddings
Trying to understand 
What bought us to this level of crazy

I discovered that, in its earliest days,
The Christian church abhorred marriage
And declared celibacy was the only way to spiritual truth 
That marriages throughout history
Have been about the economic empowerment of men
And a means of controlling women
Their bodies
And reproduction
Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert
Was the most readable 

The traditions didn’t speak to me 
The white dress, the rings, the vows,
Bows on chairs. 
I hate, with a strange passion, chairs covered with white fabric and bows. 

I just wanted to marry my love
And live happily ever after the end. 
I begged my first fiance to elope 
Save the trouble and expense and drama
Instead we broke up. 

Nearly three years later
I nervously told Aaron
I didn’t actually want a wedding
He was thrilled. 

And so after a very long wait
And most of the year apart
We finally became husband and wife.
We got married on a Monday 
Because it was the first day we could
After applying for the marriage license. 
I wore a dress 
I’ve worn a hundred times 
And will hopefully wear a hundred times more 
Aaron wore a collared shirt 
We both wore smiles. 

We drove to the town hall in Aaron’s car
We walked inside the building
And because we live in Colorado
We did not require witnesses
We did not require a ceremony
Just the intention to be legally bound
We signed our names
Sealed it with a kiss, and, 
We were married.

We called our families
Wrote to our friends
And shared a dinner that we cooked together
It was quiet and lovely
And outside, the snow was glistening. 

The end. 

The interview date has been set!
Next week I'll be with my love!
THE WAIT IS OVER!
The morning is bright and blue skied
It makes me nervous
Big events of my life usually happen in the rain.

I arrive at the Consulate
A folder two inches thick with paper under my arm
Duplicate copies of my application
Forms forms forms
DS160, I-134, medical report, birth certificates
Police certificate dated within the last six months
Passports
American standard passport pictures
Affidavits of support
Pictures
Evidence.

The check-in takes half an hour
I am given a ticket
I sit with a man from Manchester and a woman from Cambridge
His wife is in Austin
Coincidentally, so is Cambridge's husband
We have all been waiting 9-10 months for this day

We watch the sanitised images
Of the United States of America
Flash across the big screen at the end of the room
America knows how to put on a show
The Aaron Copland-esque soundtrack triumphantly plays across the heads of the waiting 

America. Innovation. Diversity. See all that America has to offer. 
My heart aches for my love and the land that will soon be my home.
I check my ticket number again. I110.
I101. I102. I103.
An hour later I am called to the window.

The woman behind the window is being trained.
She has never seen the software before and is being walked through
Step by step,
Click by interminable click,
The man training her is patient.
They are both kind and full of smiles.
I try to remember to breathe.
Page by page I hand over my documentation.

DS160, I-134, medical report, birth certificate
Police certificate dated within the last six months
Passports
American standard passport pictures
Affidavits of support

Please write your name on the back and sign here.
I am shaking. My mouth is dry.
Your application looks great Miss Lyons!
I smile. 

The man asks for my Australian police certificate.
My heart and stomach simultaneously drop to the floor.
I don't have one.
He says I need a police check for every country I have lived in for more than two years from when I was sixteen.
Where does it say that?!
I ask him,
Where does it say that? The website asks for a police check dated within the last six months.*
He shrugs. It's very clear.
I am crying. No where does it say you need a police check from every country you have lived in for more than two years from the time you were sixteen.
Don't worry. It won't delay your application. 
But I won't get my visa today?
No. But it won't take long. That's all you need. 
I am so frustrated I want to scream.
Do you know how long it takes to get a piece of paper mailed from Australia?!
I wanted to leave yesterday. March. January.
They take my passport and pile of papers.
I am told to go and wait in the waiting area until my number is called again.

I sit and sob.
A man offers to get me a tissue.
I cannot speak.
Another hour passes. The video is back to the beginning.
America. Innovation. Diversity. See all that America has to offer. 

I am called to another window.
The woman is kind and full of smiles.
I am still crying. 
Okay Miss Lyons. Do you still intend to marry Aaron? 
I nod through tears. 
I need you to say it out loud honey. 
Yes. Yes. A thousand times yes. 
She smiles. Great. I'm just going to ask you a few questions. 
How did you meet Aaron? 
She has tissues ready. 
Your application looks great, honey. It's all approved except for the police check. So once we have that we're good to go. 
She hands me back my passport and a list of instructions. 

Outside the sky is still infuriatingly blue.

*The immigration website has since been updated to reflect these changes.

In November 2012
Over the slight crackle of
Another late night skype
We decided that if this long distance
Romance
Was going to continue
We needed to be together
On the same continent
And to do that, we needed to get married

In January
The air was cold
The trees were bare
We were warm and happy
In the cabin in the woods
And submitted our forms
For a K1 visa - the fiance visa
So we could be together.

I returned to London
With hope in my heart
My lease was due to finish in March
And we (rather optimistically) hoped it would be done and dusted by then
Save moving twice

The end of January rolled by
And then all of February
My lease expired
I moved to Ruislip in the middle of a snow storm

Every day I skyped my love
We sent emails and messages
Across the Atlantic
I love you
Today is the day!

I went to work
And ate and slept
And everyday checked the status of our application
And we heard
Precisely nothing

By April
I was feeling angsty
And angry and depressed
I was underpaid and
Under-appreciated at work
The Camino called
I quit my job
And left

On the 1st of May
My blue backpack and I
Went for a long walk
Started in France
Up and over the glorious Pyrenees
And into Spain

A month of walking
Waking, walking
"Pacing in a straight line"
Eating and sleeping
And talking to my love
And asking the universe
Please, please, please
Let TODAY be the day we hear something!

At the end of the walk
Still nothing
Not a word

I went back to England
Miserable, frustrated
Sick and tired
Anemic from a month in a country that actively despises vegetarians
Chilled by the coldest Spanish May in fifty years.

I needed a visa for camp
And went to the Consulate
Armed with paperwork
To show I would return to the UK
Even though I didn't want to.
The officer asked
Precisely nothing.
Three days later
I was on a jetplane
Headed for my love

Two months of summer
Bliss
Green leaves shimmering on the trees
Blue sky.
In the middle of rehearsal
We got the letter! It's been approved!
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry
The kids all cheered
The rehearsal had to continue

August. Now we'll know.
They've approved it.
Not long to go now.
A month at most.
Re-send all the documentation, and myself, to London.

September.
Not a word from the Consulate
Or the processing centre

Tiny nuggets of information
Discovered by combing forums
Stumbling across websites
More fees
More forms
The process has now been digitized.
Re-submit all the documentation, line by line
Online

The help line cannot help
Please register online
I submit my information to yet another website
My case now has 6 reference numbers
I still cannot speak to a human
The automated email responds
Please check the website
The homepage leads to a FAQ page
The FAQ page leads to a status page
The status page leads back to the homepage
I still have no information
All of September passes by
Then all of October
The leaves begin to change colour
And finally drop
We switch the heating on.

I'm living in comfort
I can work while I wait
I'm not fleeing war
Or famine
Or dire circumstances
Life is fine

But I want to be with my love
And the wait
Is awful.