I finally finished 
Barbra's 48-hour long audiobook
I didn't want it to end
It was astonishing 
Fascinating
Infuriating 
Even at the height of her career
The unrelenting sexism
But the people she met
The projects she worked on
The songs she sang 
The relationships she had 
Extraordinary 

Happiness is time spent
With the warmth of a
Grilled cheese sandwich
And a chocolate chip cookie 

An unexpected early shift 
​Being gifted a lovely workshop
Filled with timely reminders
And uplifting content 
Watching a concert from the Theatre Royal, Drury Lane
Sobbing as Audra closes the show with
Climb Ev'ry Mountain 

Et spiritui sancto 
"And to the holy spirit" 
To sing divine music 
Feels sacred 
Even if Handel and I 
Don't worship the same deity
To sing in harmony with 100 other voices 
To provide the song for dancers to move their bodies 
To know my dear friends are in the audience 
To be gifted the most beautiful bouquet of flowers 
To feel seen and appreciated
To be a part of it all 
​Absolute bliss 

What a joy and a privilege it is
To stand upon a stage
And sing with an orchestra
And 100 other voices
With lithe dancers making their own kind of music
Twirling and pulsing and moving through the space
I still get a thrill
When the curtain opens
And the audience is revealed
And we get to put into practice
The notes and rhythms and dynamics
That we have been practicing for weeks
The thrilling exchange of energy
Theatre magic

The sounds of Louisiana jazz
Salt and vinegar pringles 
Louis Armstrong
Surprise yum cha in the West Village 
Watching a beautiful concert
​Being part of a beautiful concert 
Dreaming of an RV road trip
Creamy hot chocolate 
​The trains singing "Somewhere" 
An almost full moon 

Rehearsal at the theatre
Even standing at the back of the stage
Behind a scrim
In a chorus of 100 people 
Looking out onto the seats
It feels like home
I watch the dancers
I miss dancing
How long has it been since I put on some music and 
Just danced with abandon? 
Remembering the Christmas concert in 1998
It was outdoors 
(Australian Christmas) 
I danced to the orchestra and 
There was a full moon
Another lifetime now 
I miss performing 
I miss a time when it wasn't so wrapped up in 
The Business of Show 
Headshots, and pay-to-play, and agents and competition 
Instead, just telling stories 
And making music 
And moving with my body
And singing songs because they're fun to sing 
And doing theatre 
​Because it's home. 

A beautiful morning
Despite the chilly wind
A bright blue sky
Dotted with puffy white clouds
The sneaky wind kept trying to steal my hat
I told her it was mine 
She wanted to slow me down
But in some moments I could pretend I was a kite 
whoooosh! 
Running felt good 
I've finally figured out a regular route 
That let's me clock 3.1miles / 5km 
Through three parks and around Yankee Stadium
Who would've thunk living in Harlem would let me explore the Bronx 
Discovering urban trails and art deco monuments 
The white magnolias have burst forth 
The yellow daffodils are in full bloom
Pointing their cheery faces to the sun 
Even the green leaves are starting to pop
The giddy promise of spring

Late at night
On the uptown A
There is a man eating a single scoop of ice cream
With a wooden spoon from
A little orange cup.
Vanilla bean
A special, secret recipe
A childhood favorite
He is savoring
Every. Single. Bite.
It may be 38°F outside
But it’s never too cold for vanilla bean ice cream
He hasn’t had ice cream in the longest time
Certainly not uninterrupted like this
With just the rattle of the train
The quiet company of his fellow passengers
For now, there are no screaming children
No demands on his time
No worries in the world
Just this scoop of ice cream
The wooden spoon
The little orange cup
And the taste of heaven

To be able to bear witness
To a friend's story 
To hear their voice 
Not just in song
But how they see the world
How they interpret it
How they navigate it 
What lifts them up
When life keeps threatening a downward spiral
An honor, and a joy.