The thrill of watching
Lilias White
In Hadestown
The way she greets the front of house staff
(I’m told the other actors started doing it after she joined the company)
Warm and welcoming
We’re all in this together
I feel like I'm getting paid to take a masterclass
In presence, in power, in vocal magic
The way she holds the audience in the palm of her hand
The way she looks like she’s having the time of her life
A joy to behold

Bright, blue, and beautiful
And then watching the sunset
While chatting to Zaza, half a world away
Who is waking up to the sun rising.

Lunch with Miriam at a delightful diner near Lincoln Center
Research at the library and finding treasure in an unassuming box
An unexpected dinner with Megan and Lauren
A beautiful sunset on my way home
Streaming a gorgeous one woman musical
Feeling full in my heart
And uplifted in my spirit

​Thankful for kind customer service agents
Thankful for the quiet of the library and the joy of research
Thankful for a giant ginger oat cookie
Thankful for rain and the prettiness of lightning
Thankful for the silly lighthearted fun of Bake Off Junior
Thankful for home cooking
Thankful for cold drinking water
Thankful to be here.

It was warm
And the sky was blue
That gorgeous glorious blue sky blue
That always makes my heart catch in my throat
And I ran a long the Charles River
And saw the other people out running and biking
I was running intervals
And during a recovery interval
A woman ran past and shouted
“You’ve got this!”
She disappeared down the path
A dad cycled past in the opposite direction
Behind his bike, a trailer with young twins
Who sat holding hands
One woman was rollerblading
I got a kick out of thinking that some of the runners must
Run the Boston marathon
I’m not likely to ever qualify for that race
But how joyful to be running
To trace the path of the winding river
To feel the warmth
And see that blue sky
That gorgeous glorious blue sky blue

How lovely it was to see Zoe
And how lucky that we could take a tour of the historic
Boston Athenæm
What a thrill it was to see books from the 17th century
Books then considered to be essential for human knowledge
Desert island books if you will
Sent from England to Boston (via the Caribbean)
And now sitting in an old glass lined cabinet
(There was an exhibit a few years ago that asked
What is essential knowledge?
…
What do you consider Required Reading?)
Being able to walk between the narrow aisles of the stacks
The wonderful smell of old books
It fills my soul and raises my heartbeat
I want to read ALL the books!
And see all the films
And watch all the plays!
And hear all the music!
And play all the instruments!
Why is our time so infuriatingly finite?!
Rachel and I decided on our afterlife meeting spot
And promised to one day haunt the halls of the Athenæm
Reading for all eternity
In this lifetime
We had lunch on the Common and
Sat with Zoe on her break
The full breadth of humanity on display

The afternoon was reserved for the quiet of Mount Auburn
A stunning garden cemetery full of faery energy
A resting place for the dead
A home for the towering trees
Moss covered mausoleums
And stone statues
Gravestones and crypts and a
Verdant landscape
That takes your breath away with its beauty
And you whisper to the trees
Thank you for this day.

How long has it been since my last visit to Nantucket?
At least a decade
We took the fast boat out into the Atlantic
And sat outside on the upper deck
The smell of the salt air
The gorgeous view of dark blue ocean against pale blue sky
Arriving in the harbor
A flood of memories
Spending Christmas here with Kris
Traveling with Rachel on my way to drama school
Watching the Tonys with Binth and Normand
I’ve only ever been in the off-season
It was strange to see it so busy
Crowds of people
In linen and designer polo shirts and
Designer sandals and matching luggage
We left the tourists behind
And made our way down Main Street
To la casa de Los Titos de Nantucket
The Spanish flag was missing
Tita Tinka greeted us at the door
Warm and welcoming
Kisses on both cheeks
Though she couldn’t remember who we were
She gave us a tour of the house
It had barely changed
Everything almost just where I had left it last
But now faded and dusty
What was once gleaming has lost its sparkle

While Tito Fernando was sleeping
Tinka had her lunch in the garden
The place where she had grown up
And her mother grew up
And her mother before her
Peter stopped by, and Anselma and KeithAnn
The sky was bright blue and the air was warm
And the neighbors waved as they passed
Just as they always do

I went inside in time for Tito Fernando’s lunch
The nurse asked if I would like to feed him
So I sat with him and helped him eat his carne con arroz y vegetales
Food delivered by Meals on Wheels
Rachel joined us and put on some classical music
The music that was always playing in the car
The music of my childhood
The music that makes me think of Abuela and Abuelo
Connection across centuries and continents
“Who?” Fernando asked.
Soy Luisa, tu sobrina. La nieta de su hermano, Luis.
Y Rachael es la nieta de su hermano, Julio.
Somos las nietas de tu hermanos.
He seemed to perk up at the mention of his brothers.
He raised an eyebrow and almost chuckled when Rachel said he’d taught her to fold a fitted sheet
He definitely perked up at the mention of the World Cup
It was nice to be able to share that the Philippines had won a game and that
Spain was still in the running

I talked about doing the chicken dance on New Year’s Eve
And how that same year for Christmas, we killed a chicken
Cut its neck with a blade in the backyard
De-feathered it
And cooked it for dinner
I remembered the three-course meals we’d shared at that very table
The silver napkin rings
The candles
Going to church on Sunday mornings and coming home for brunch
The way Tito Fernando would announce
“I’m going to measure the bed!” before his afternoon siesta
How we stayed up late and watched Cranford on PBS
How Tita Tinka taught us to bake mountains of cookies - jam thumbprints and lace cookies and truffles and, of course,
Flan! The first flan in the history of time to rival Abuela’s
All from her impossibly tiny kitchen

And then it was time to leave
We helped Tito Fernando back into his chair
I held his hand, and kissed his forehead
See you soon, Tito. We love you.
Binth picked us up and
I burst into tears
We had lunch by the wharf and Normand joined us
Dear friends who warm your heart

All too soon it was time to be back on the boat
And as we sailed past the lighthouse
To make sure that we’ll return
I threw a dime into the water
Because we didn’t have pennies
(I still feel guilty about throwing coins into the ocean. Is it ok?)
And an hour later
We were back
On the mainland.

Coach Bennett said to mix it up with this week
​So I did my long run on Thursday instead of Sunday
In Salem instead of Queens
Paul rode his bike beside me the whole way
Down the bike path and back
Through old town
Across to Winter Island with its lighthouse and beach
Around the Willows
(Past the beach and park where Volt got the zoomies during Thanksgiving and ran away and thought he was very clever and gave us all a heart attack)
Back through old town
Past houses built in the 17th century
On streets walked by puritans and witches
And pagans and tourists
And locals just going about their daily lives
Through the common 
Down the street
I announced each kilometer out loud 
After the app had announced it in my ear and
Ate a date every 5km
Until we were home again
The sky was blue
The sun was warm
And after 10miles/16.1km,
I felt
Victorious

A lovely long walk with Sumi to the Willows
Then walking to the other side of Salem to see Kassie
​How has it been 14 years?!
The delight of meeting her tiny human
And later
Sitting outside on a surprisingly cool summer evening
With a full belly
And a full heart
Feeling thankful thankful thankful
That I can still be with my chosen family.

Traveling with the Rabinowii
From Salem to Boston
Walking through the Common
Riding in a swan boat - sha la la!
And lunch in the park
(Lemonade on a hot summer’s day may be one of the greatest inventions ever made)
Walking to the aquarium
And admiring the schools of silvery fish
And the lugubrious turtle who can hold her breath for minutes at a time
The brightly colored anemones and the dazzling sea dragon
Finishing the day with ice cream in the plaza
Before heading home
Where the puppy snuggled on my lap.