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You were disappointed because 
You had to drop out of a play 
And you couldn’t run the 5km 
Because your platelets had dropped too low
And it made you feel tired and frustrated
When is this goddamn cancer thing going to be 
Over?! 

And you’re sitting in the hospital
Waiting for a treatment
And your friend messages you and says
“Would you like to come to the Bernadette Peters Gala at the Plaza Hotel tonight?”
And you think
It will be a late night, and you’re already tired, but
Fuck it! It’s Bernadette Peters! At the Plaza Hotel!


And you rush home to Brooklyn 
And one of your closest friends happens to be in town
And she helps you get glammed up
And packs you a cheese sandwich to eat on the train
And you rush back into Manhattan 

Your friend is waiting in the foyer
He brings you back into the green room 
And there is Debra Monk! 
You go into the ballroom
Guests in black tie and beautiful gowns 
Are polishing off cake and wine 


The lineup is ridiculous
Marin Mazzie! Annaleigh Ashford! Michael Douglas! Gloria Estefan! Danielle Ferland! 
Joel Grey sings “There’s no business like show business” 
Debra Monk sings “Everybody’s Girl” and you recall that, for a while, her rendition of “Show People” was your ring tone
The lead girl from Fun Home, along with some of the children from The King and I sing a spirited “Children Will Listen” 
Norm Lewis sings “No One Is Alone” from Into the Woods and
His tenor voice is warm and rich 
The cast of Dames at Sea sing and it’s cheesy and ridiculous and dated, but it makes you feel 
So HAPPY! 
And Lesli Margherita is there and you whisper to your friend
“She is my spirit animal. I love her so much”
And a few minutes later, she is standing RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU
And her human realness is overwhelming and you want to reach out and tell her how much her vlogs and tweets and instagrams have gotten you through the past year 
But you’re enjoying the show to worry about fawning at the feet of your idols 
And then the NYC Gay Men’s Chorus appears
Seventy men standing in small groups all around the room 
They sing “Sunday” from Sunday in the Park with George 
It’s a beautiful arrangement
And you can’t help but sing-a-long

Toward the verticals of trees! 
It is soaring and glorious


Bernadette Peters 
Ascends to the stage
She is so teary she can barely speak
She is grateful and radiant and lovely
And still looks like she did over twenty years ago
How is it even possible?! Is it all the singing?! 


​The night has reminded you 
Why you wanted to be in New York in the first place
It was to go to the theatre and audition and learn lines and be in shows and trip the light fantastic! 
It was to go to museums and libraries and beautiful parks and stroll hand in hand with your husband across the Brooklyn Bridge and up and down the streets and across the avenues
It was to have wonderful experiences in this wonderful town
Not to have an existence comprised of blood counts and monitoring your energy and being terrified of relapse and stupid fucking cancer


And although you go home utterly exhausted
You feel entirely elated
Your heart is full of joy 
And you are thankful that you’re here 
For these moments 
3 Comments
Mercedes - 10 years ago
Oh, Luisa. That is all so utterly wonderful! So happy you had such a glorious experience. Love from Ma
Anna - 10 years ago
*teary* Oh Lu...
I'm so glad you could go!
Luisa - 10 years ago
Thank you Anna and Ma! :)

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