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For over half your life
The Dream has been
To live in
New York City
Centre of the universe
Land of the Broadway musical
The most sung about 
Danced in locale
On the face of the earth 

Your childhood 
Disney musical diet
Led you to believe that 
You meet the prince
You fall in love, and, 
Your dreams come true 

But what if 
Cinderella 
Escapes her broom 
Marries the prince
Moves into the castle, and
Gets cancer?

Because you have
Escaped your hometown 
Fallen in love
Married your sweet prince
Moved to New York
And gotten cancer

And it changes everything. 

You're finally living in the city of your dreams
Broadway is a subway ride away
But you can't ride the subway
Because your immune system is compromised 
Because it was wiped out and replaced with stem cells from your sister
After you had three rounds of chemo
After you stood in a contraption, 
Your arms tied in straps
Your waist cinched in a harness
Lest you collapse,
Fifty shades this ain't 
Fifty shades of cancer treatment 
Full body irradiation
That you can't feel, see, smell, or taste
But make you throw up your insides 
And leave you feeling utterly, utterly drained and helpless
All that, after you were told
You. Have. Cancer. 

Tell five years ago Me,
A year ago even,
Your dreams come true.
You live in New York
You marry a prince
(Truly, he's the most wonderful gentleman)
But you'll have to wait to 
Really Enjoy It 
No subways, no takeout, 
No coffees in cafes in 
Uptown, or downtown 
Or even Brooklyn 
No being in crowds
And definitely no Broadway. 

We thought that  
100 days post-transplant 
I would have more freedom
So we waited out
Three months and a bit 
A bone marrow biopsy
And two weeks more

To be told 
My immune system is still weak
Crowds are dangerous
The subway is a seething cesspit of germs 
All food needs to be cooked at home
Broadway will have to wait
A little longer 

Life happens, as it does
And always will
Dreams do come true
Just in unexpected ways
With unexpected turns
You readjust and
Nurture the dream 
Watch it on the shelf
And promise you'll take it down soon. 
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