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Dry skin
Dry mouth
Cracking nails
Nausea
Nausea
Nausea
Never ending queasy excruciating incapacitating nausea
That leaves you lying useless on the couch
Some days you can’t read can’t watch tv even music is too hard
Nausea
Fatigue
Extreme exhaustion
So tired all you can do is sleep for fourteen hours
Get up and lie on the couch all day
And still feel tired
Chills
Weekly appointments at the hospital
Blood work for blood counts
White cells, red cells, neutrophils, hemoglobin, platelets
Check nymph lodes for swelling
Check ankles for swelling
Check skin for rashes
Blood pressure, temperature, weight, and measure around the stomach
Measure liquid intake
Monitor food intake
Friends visit
Friends write and send sweet cards
You talk with family on Skype and viber
You try not to despair that you can’t go out into New York
Because it is filled with bacteria-bearing crowds
All in good time
Be a patient patient
Feel guilty that your love is exhausted
From caring
Feel awful that you don’t have the energy to help
Wish you could fast forward time to the part where you’re better
Swing between depression and despair
And happiness and hope that it’s all going to be ok
One day you’ll be healthy and “normal” again
This is recovery. This is healing.
Slow and tired and boring and frustrating and necessary.
Dry mouth
Cracking nails
Nausea
Nausea
Nausea
Never ending queasy excruciating incapacitating nausea
That leaves you lying useless on the couch
Some days you can’t read can’t watch tv even music is too hard
Nausea
Fatigue
Extreme exhaustion
So tired all you can do is sleep for fourteen hours
Get up and lie on the couch all day
And still feel tired
Chills
Weekly appointments at the hospital
Blood work for blood counts
White cells, red cells, neutrophils, hemoglobin, platelets
Check nymph lodes for swelling
Check ankles for swelling
Check skin for rashes
Blood pressure, temperature, weight, and measure around the stomach
Measure liquid intake
Monitor food intake
Friends visit
Friends write and send sweet cards
You talk with family on Skype and viber
You try not to despair that you can’t go out into New York
Because it is filled with bacteria-bearing crowds
All in good time
Be a patient patient
Feel guilty that your love is exhausted
From caring
Feel awful that you don’t have the energy to help
Wish you could fast forward time to the part where you’re better
Swing between depression and despair
And happiness and hope that it’s all going to be ok
One day you’ll be healthy and “normal” again
This is recovery. This is healing.
Slow and tired and boring and frustrating and necessary.
You write with such honesty and beauty and I couldn't be more proud of you. I love you so much. Warmest hugs to both you and Aaron, Ma
Such an accurate description my friend. I appreciate your days must feel endless right now. But im believing for the day where you arent just watching the rat race from a window and being exhausted even just from watching. I believe that you will be the one leading the charge out there, being watched (and admired) by someone else from their own window very very soon. Love you.
Animo!