​I recall a younger me
On her first overseas trip
Almost ten years ago
Flying into LA for the first time 
Seeing the Hollywood sign on the hill
The sprawling lots  
It occurred to me that despite the fact I grew up in Australia 
America was the land of my childhood
Singin’ in the Rain, The Pajama Game, The King and I 
Were all made in that sprawling concrete jungle below 
It was strange to discover it was a real place

And then coming back three years later 
Single, stronger, determined

And now 
Six years later
I’ve been to drama school 
I’m married 
I’m a cancer survivor 
And I’m figuring myself out all over again

Santa Monica is a surprise 
It’s like the Sydney suburbs of Chatswood and Bondi
Got together with Los Angeles and 
Had a baby 
The perfect blend of hipster, beach, and commercial cultures 
Grannies rollerblade along the beach 
A 6ft surfer meditates on the bus 
An opera singer busks in between Victoria’s Secret and J Crew
At dusk, every other bench along the beachfront 
Becomes a bed

The Gardens of the Self-Realization Fellowship.
The temple is closed 
But the garden itself is place enough for worship
A natural amphitheater with a spring-fed lake 
Eucalypts and pines and roses and an earthy smell
Palms trees, aloe vera, bougainvillea, hibiscus
Even a paperbark tree growing right above the water’s edge 
Darting red dragonflies that look like bi-planes 
Ducks and swans and smaller birds whose name I’m not sure of
Black-orange butterflies 
A Buddha among the trees 

Catching up with friends 
From different parts of my life 
Katie and Will from London
Josh and Liz from Sydney 
Kasey from camp
The joy of conversation with good people 

Of course, a week away from New York 
Means I must see a Broadway show 
On tour 
Bright Star, a delightful American fairytale 
With two of my favorites,
Carmen Cusack and Jeff Blumenkrantz. 
The show is a little lost in the cavernous 
Ahmanson Theatre
But the music still makes my heart sing. 

​The best part of it all was 
Getting to spend time with my 
Not-so-baby sister
Now taller than me
And beginning her own adventures. 
I'm so very proud of the person she is, and
The person she is still becoming 

The ultimate Phoebe-Lulu Day
A whole day at Universal Studios
The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, 
Every bit as magical as we’d hoped 
The deliciousness of butterbeer 
Like Australian creaming soda, minus the pink and with extra creaminess 
The inventiveness of the Harry Potter ride
The delightful fun of the wand choosing ceremony 
Simpsons, Minions, Studio Backlot Tour (The Good Place!), 
Jurassic Park (twice) — 
We got soaked, but on a 35C day, it didn’t matter.
The cheesy but spectacular WaterWorld show
In desperate need of a gender re-write
But its themes of a vanishing world
Scarily prescient

On our last afternoon together 
We go in search of Fluff
The quintessential American “food”
Re-seeing American supermarkets with Australian eyes 
Have I been here so long that Americanah is becoming 
My normal?! 

The heartbreak of saying goodbye 
I wish apparition was real
I wish there weren’t oceans between us
I wish Phoebe-Lulu days could be a weekly event
And not once every six years

​In Palisades Park 
I sit beneath a gum tree 
In awe that I am here​