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Today has been a Very. Hard. Day.
Personally speaking, and in the world. My thyroid doesn't work any more. The radiation zapped it into oblivion. It explains the mood swings and fatigue. I stopped one drug, only to discover I have to start two more. Accessing mental health care is like searching for a needle in a haystack. The people who are supposed to help you are trapped in a system seemingly designed to make you insane.
The grief being felt in my home country. The destruction in Nepal. The fear and anger in Baltimore.
Sometimes, it all feels too much. So I went for a walk. My mission was to find the lovely. More than ever, I need lovely. I need to feel, that at least on some level, it's all going to be ok. Despite the destruction of my body. Despite the destruction in the world.
On my walk, I found spring. Pink and white blossoms. Magnolias. Tulips all colors of the rainbow because someone had cared to plant them. A sweet chalk drawing on the pavement. Children playing. People out running. Colorful rows of houses. Washing on a line, evidence of someone had made use of the sunny day to dry their clothes.
Tiny pockets. But enough.
Personally speaking, and in the world. My thyroid doesn't work any more. The radiation zapped it into oblivion. It explains the mood swings and fatigue. I stopped one drug, only to discover I have to start two more. Accessing mental health care is like searching for a needle in a haystack. The people who are supposed to help you are trapped in a system seemingly designed to make you insane.
The grief being felt in my home country. The destruction in Nepal. The fear and anger in Baltimore.
Sometimes, it all feels too much. So I went for a walk. My mission was to find the lovely. More than ever, I need lovely. I need to feel, that at least on some level, it's all going to be ok. Despite the destruction of my body. Despite the destruction in the world.
On my walk, I found spring. Pink and white blossoms. Magnolias. Tulips all colors of the rainbow because someone had cared to plant them. A sweet chalk drawing on the pavement. Children playing. People out running. Colorful rows of houses. Washing on a line, evidence of someone had made use of the sunny day to dry their clothes.
Tiny pockets. But enough.
1 Comments
Luisa, you have taken some wonderful photos. As Deb Edward mentioned, it takes strength to get out and find the lovely when you are feeling so low. Love you so much! Ma