- Published on
The year started twirling a “glow sword”
Because in the land of the free and the brave
It’s easier to buy a gun than a sparkler
We applied for a fiance visa.
I flew back to London.
In February, I started house hunting,
Visited Brighton
And saw A Chorus Line at the Palladium
I watched women in black t-shirts and bright red lipstick
Rise and dance outside Parliament House.
We had a bake sale at the theatre.
I wandered the streets of London
Trying to feel at home.
In March, I saw Liza Minnelli at Royal Festival Hall.
In the midst of a snow storm
I moved to Ruislip.
Saw my friend’s play
Nights of Enchantment,
And over noodles, had a long and delightful conversation
With an old friend.
One bright chilly morning
I walked from Covent Garden to the Thames to Islington.
In April, I did quite the unthinkable
And quit my job ushering
At a west end theatre
And prepared to walk 780km across
Northern rural Spain
I saw the Lichtenstein retrospective at the Tate Modern
On the 30th April I caught the Eurostar
From London to Paris
And spent the day on trains heading
South across France to the Pyrenees
On the first day of May
I walked up and down the Pyrenees
Crossed into Navarra
And spent the next 31 days
Walking the width of Spain
Until I reached Santiago de Compostela
In June, I saw War Horse at the New London.
I flew over the Atlantic
To spend the summer with my love
We went to a wedding
And a Wesslmann pop art exhibit in Richmond
Drove through Washington DC, Jersey, New York, and Connecticut
And arrived
Home
At summer camp
We staged 2 full-scale musicals
In 8 weeks
I taught singing and voice
And melted in the heat
Watched Yo Yo Ma and the Boston Symphony Orchestra
At Tanglewood
And walked a rainbow chalk labyrinth
Smudged and glowing from rain
In August
I saw Matilda, Once, and Peter and the Starcatcher in NYC
And wandered the streets of Manhattan praying for a miracle.
I unwillingly flew back to London
And moved to the south east.
I worked as a temp
At an international commercial property research company
Two finance firms
Two publishing houses
And spent my days behind reception desks around London
Writing and researching my play.
I saw Blue Stockings at The Globe.
In September, I quietly turned 29
In one of the offices of London
And in the evening saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory at the
Theatre Royal, Drury Lane, with my big brother
I saw Grounded at The Gate Theatre
And did a workshop on writing solo material
I traveled to Bath to audition for a play
I saw Once with my Australian singing teacher
And remembered why I was doing what I was doing.
I saw A Doll’s House at The Duke of York
And had to talk myself into staying for the second act.
I went blackberry picking in Southminster
And made a blackberry pie.
In October, I had my interview with the US Consulate
And was rejected
I waited for a piece of paper
Declaring my lack of criminal record
To be sent from Australia to the UK
Via snail mail
I waited for my file to be lifted from the hundreds of other files
In someone’s office
I saw Trevor Ashley perform
Liza on an E
And Malala Yousafzai speak at Queen Elizabeth Hall
I went to the London Dungeon and SeaLife Aquarium with my first London friend
I saw The Light Princess at the National Theatre
And a debate between the founder of No More Page 3
And three playboy bunnies
In Carnaby St.
I went to Brighton with Mum and
Rode the carousel on the pier.
The next day I was the sickest I have been since moving to London
Ten months of waiting catching up with my stomach.
In November, I saw Matilda at the Cambridge
One last time
Walked along the Thames
Saw the Christmas lights in Oxford St and
Bid farewell to London.
I flew across the Atlantic
To be with my love
And, finally,
We were married.
In December
I worked on my play
Went to my first American audition
And was cast in my first Shakespeare
I discovered I could run in below freezing temperatures
Volunteered in a second-hand bookshop
Learnt to play the ukulele
Went to a Warhol exhibit
And wandered through Old Town admiring the fairy lights.
We started our happily ever after
The end.
Because in the land of the free and the brave
It’s easier to buy a gun than a sparkler
We applied for a fiance visa.
I flew back to London.
In February, I started house hunting,
Visited Brighton
And saw A Chorus Line at the Palladium
I watched women in black t-shirts and bright red lipstick
Rise and dance outside Parliament House.
We had a bake sale at the theatre.
I wandered the streets of London
Trying to feel at home.
In March, I saw Liza Minnelli at Royal Festival Hall.
In the midst of a snow storm
I moved to Ruislip.
Saw my friend’s play
Nights of Enchantment,
And over noodles, had a long and delightful conversation
With an old friend.
One bright chilly morning
I walked from Covent Garden to the Thames to Islington.
In April, I did quite the unthinkable
And quit my job ushering
At a west end theatre
And prepared to walk 780km across
Northern rural Spain
I saw the Lichtenstein retrospective at the Tate Modern
On the 30th April I caught the Eurostar
From London to Paris
And spent the day on trains heading
South across France to the Pyrenees
On the first day of May
I walked up and down the Pyrenees
Crossed into Navarra
And spent the next 31 days
Walking the width of Spain
Until I reached Santiago de Compostela
In June, I saw War Horse at the New London.
I flew over the Atlantic
To spend the summer with my love
We went to a wedding
And a Wesslmann pop art exhibit in Richmond
Drove through Washington DC, Jersey, New York, and Connecticut
And arrived
Home
At summer camp
We staged 2 full-scale musicals
In 8 weeks
I taught singing and voice
And melted in the heat
Watched Yo Yo Ma and the Boston Symphony Orchestra
At Tanglewood
And walked a rainbow chalk labyrinth
Smudged and glowing from rain
In August
I saw Matilda, Once, and Peter and the Starcatcher in NYC
And wandered the streets of Manhattan praying for a miracle.
I unwillingly flew back to London
And moved to the south east.
I worked as a temp
At an international commercial property research company
Two finance firms
Two publishing houses
And spent my days behind reception desks around London
Writing and researching my play.
I saw Blue Stockings at The Globe.
In September, I quietly turned 29
In one of the offices of London
And in the evening saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory at the
Theatre Royal, Drury Lane, with my big brother
I saw Grounded at The Gate Theatre
And did a workshop on writing solo material
I traveled to Bath to audition for a play
I saw Once with my Australian singing teacher
And remembered why I was doing what I was doing.
I saw A Doll’s House at The Duke of York
And had to talk myself into staying for the second act.
I went blackberry picking in Southminster
And made a blackberry pie.
In October, I had my interview with the US Consulate
And was rejected
I waited for a piece of paper
Declaring my lack of criminal record
To be sent from Australia to the UK
Via snail mail
I waited for my file to be lifted from the hundreds of other files
In someone’s office
I saw Trevor Ashley perform
Liza on an E
And Malala Yousafzai speak at Queen Elizabeth Hall
I went to the London Dungeon and SeaLife Aquarium with my first London friend
I saw The Light Princess at the National Theatre
And a debate between the founder of No More Page 3
And three playboy bunnies
In Carnaby St.
I went to Brighton with Mum and
Rode the carousel on the pier.
The next day I was the sickest I have been since moving to London
Ten months of waiting catching up with my stomach.
In November, I saw Matilda at the Cambridge
One last time
Walked along the Thames
Saw the Christmas lights in Oxford St and
Bid farewell to London.
I flew across the Atlantic
To be with my love
And, finally,
We were married.
In December
I worked on my play
Went to my first American audition
And was cast in my first Shakespeare
I discovered I could run in below freezing temperatures
Volunteered in a second-hand bookshop
Learnt to play the ukulele
Went to a Warhol exhibit
And wandered through Old Town admiring the fairy lights.
We started our happily ever after
The end.
- Published on
I love a good wedding
All my friends will tell you
I’m the first to cry at them
Be there to sing and dance and by merry
And celebrate the legal uniting of
Two souls
I’ve been to weddings in gardens
On farms
In churches
I’ve had the privilege of speaking at weddings
And singing in the ceremony
I love watching friends and family
Declare love
To their loved ones
And for my own wedding
I wanted exactly no part of the circus
I’ve been engaged once before
We started preparing a wedding
Picked a date, went dress shopping, drafted lists, looked at venues
Learnt that the minute you mentioned
“Wedding” instead of “party”
The prices instantly doubled
I discovered that
Every. Person. In. The. World.
Has. An. Opinion.
And if you don’t listen to, and follow through, with their
Sage advice
You will be DOOMED
Or offend, insult, or have yourself struck from the family tree.
Instead of perusing wedding magazines
And blogs
Or attending fairs and conventions
Or sitting with girlfriends and sisters over coffee
Discussing details
I read about the history of weddings
Trying to understand
What bought us to this level of crazy
I discovered that, in its earliest days,
The Christian church abhorred marriage
And declared celibacy was the only way to spiritual truth
That marriages throughout history
Have been about the economic empowerment of men
And a means of controlling women
Their bodies
And reproduction
Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert
Was the most readable
The traditions didn’t speak to me
The white dress, the rings, the vows,
Bows on chairs.
I hate, with a strange passion, chairs covered with white fabric and bows.
I just wanted to marry my love
And live happily ever after the end.
I begged my first fiance to elope
Save the trouble and expense and drama
Instead we broke up.
Nearly three years later
I nervously told Aaron
I didn’t actually want a wedding
He was thrilled.
And so after a very long wait
And most of the year apart
We finally became husband and wife.
We got married on a Monday
Because it was the first day we could
After applying for the marriage license.
I wore a dress
I’ve worn a hundred times
And will hopefully wear a hundred times more
Aaron wore a collared shirt
We both wore smiles.
We drove to the town hall in Aaron’s car
We walked inside the building
And because we live in Colorado
We did not require witnesses
We did not require a ceremony
Just the intention to be legally bound
We signed our names
Sealed it with a kiss, and,
We were married.
We called our families
Wrote to our friends
And shared a dinner that we cooked together
It was quiet and lovely
And outside, the snow was glistening.
The end.
All my friends will tell you
I’m the first to cry at them
Be there to sing and dance and by merry
And celebrate the legal uniting of
Two souls
I’ve been to weddings in gardens
On farms
In churches
I’ve had the privilege of speaking at weddings
And singing in the ceremony
I love watching friends and family
Declare love
To their loved ones
And for my own wedding
I wanted exactly no part of the circus
I’ve been engaged once before
We started preparing a wedding
Picked a date, went dress shopping, drafted lists, looked at venues
Learnt that the minute you mentioned
“Wedding” instead of “party”
The prices instantly doubled
I discovered that
Every. Person. In. The. World.
Has. An. Opinion.
And if you don’t listen to, and follow through, with their
Sage advice
You will be DOOMED
Or offend, insult, or have yourself struck from the family tree.
Instead of perusing wedding magazines
And blogs
Or attending fairs and conventions
Or sitting with girlfriends and sisters over coffee
Discussing details
I read about the history of weddings
Trying to understand
What bought us to this level of crazy
I discovered that, in its earliest days,
The Christian church abhorred marriage
And declared celibacy was the only way to spiritual truth
That marriages throughout history
Have been about the economic empowerment of men
And a means of controlling women
Their bodies
And reproduction
Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert
Was the most readable
The traditions didn’t speak to me
The white dress, the rings, the vows,
Bows on chairs.
I hate, with a strange passion, chairs covered with white fabric and bows.
I just wanted to marry my love
And live happily ever after the end.
I begged my first fiance to elope
Save the trouble and expense and drama
Instead we broke up.
Nearly three years later
I nervously told Aaron
I didn’t actually want a wedding
He was thrilled.
And so after a very long wait
And most of the year apart
We finally became husband and wife.
We got married on a Monday
Because it was the first day we could
After applying for the marriage license.
I wore a dress
I’ve worn a hundred times
And will hopefully wear a hundred times more
Aaron wore a collared shirt
We both wore smiles.
We drove to the town hall in Aaron’s car
We walked inside the building
And because we live in Colorado
We did not require witnesses
We did not require a ceremony
Just the intention to be legally bound
We signed our names
Sealed it with a kiss, and,
We were married.
We called our families
Wrote to our friends
And shared a dinner that we cooked together
It was quiet and lovely
And outside, the snow was glistening.
The end.
- Published on
an approximation of what I looked like
Forty dollars,
And another form where I fill out
Every address that I have lived at
Since I was 16,
And twenty-four hours later
I receive an email to say my police background check
Is clear
And the certificate is on its way.
A week later it arrives
I book the courier
To collect my passport
Police certificate
And prayers for a speedy return
The courier collects the parcel
See you in 4-5 weeks
He says.
No.
I say.
I want to see you walking in that door with my passport and visa by the end of the week. Got it?
He laughs.
He doesn't get it.
It takes the Embassy three days to process receipt of my passport.
Then nothing changes for almost three weeks.
My status reads "Ready"
It has been "Ready" since before the interview.
I lose my voice
Develop a horrible cough
I want to stay in bed and never get out.
I must be miserable to be around
I don't care.
Get me out of this limbo. I'm done. I've been waiting for 10 months.
I feel pathetic. Ten months is nothing in the grand scheme of things.
I take my first sick day since arriving in London.
I cannot face work or people or getting out of my pajamas.
Every time I've skyped Aaron in the last few days I cry. Sob uncontrollably.
I'm sick of my love being trapped behind a screen.
At 5pm the status changes.
"Administrative processing"
The stories on visa journey* are frightening.
Some people have gotten to this part of the process
And waited another year.
I feel utterly hopeless.
Another week rolls by.
Everyone is being optimistic and supportive
The system doesn't care. I am nothing. I am not human.
I am six numbers and an alien.
"Approved".
Wait, what?!
We check the website repetitively to make sure it hasn't changed.
Two days later I receive a tracking number from the courier.
My passport is on its way.
I'm headed to my love.
And after 10 months, and three weeks...
I'm on the plane! I'm on the plane! I'M ON THE PLANE!
In ten hours I'll be with my love!
The head of the cabin crew announces that we'll soon be landing in Denver
It is minus 10 degrees celcius outside
Every passenger does a double take
We are the only plane landing at this time
The customs queue is short
I have read that I may be taken to a separate room for my customs interview
I am called
The officer doesn't make eye contact
I hand over my passport
And a thick sealed envelope from the embassy
Containing all my documents
X-rays, police certificates, birth certificates
And every address I have lived at since I was 16.
Right thumb on the screen please Miss Lyons.
(Right thumb on the screen).
When did you last leave the United States Miss Lyons?
I left at the end of August...
Silence.
I was here on a J1. For camp.
I know.
I laugh a little. He has still not made eye contact.
Four fingers of your right hand please Miss Lyons.
(Four fingers of my right hand on the screen).
You know you have 90 days to marry.
Yep!
He doesn't look up. He stamps my passport, places the envelope in a pile.
Congratulations. Thank you Miss Lyons. NEXT.
The world is covered in snow
And I'm with my love
Everything is going to be WONDERFUL!
Now we just have to get married!
And another form where I fill out
Every address that I have lived at
Since I was 16,
And twenty-four hours later
I receive an email to say my police background check
Is clear
And the certificate is on its way.
A week later it arrives
I book the courier
To collect my passport
Police certificate
And prayers for a speedy return
The courier collects the parcel
See you in 4-5 weeks
He says.
No.
I say.
I want to see you walking in that door with my passport and visa by the end of the week. Got it?
He laughs.
He doesn't get it.
It takes the Embassy three days to process receipt of my passport.
Then nothing changes for almost three weeks.
My status reads "Ready"
It has been "Ready" since before the interview.
I lose my voice
Develop a horrible cough
I want to stay in bed and never get out.
I must be miserable to be around
I don't care.
Get me out of this limbo. I'm done. I've been waiting for 10 months.
I feel pathetic. Ten months is nothing in the grand scheme of things.
I take my first sick day since arriving in London.
I cannot face work or people or getting out of my pajamas.
Every time I've skyped Aaron in the last few days I cry. Sob uncontrollably.
I'm sick of my love being trapped behind a screen.
At 5pm the status changes.
"Administrative processing"
The stories on visa journey* are frightening.
Some people have gotten to this part of the process
And waited another year.
I feel utterly hopeless.
Another week rolls by.
Everyone is being optimistic and supportive
The system doesn't care. I am nothing. I am not human.
I am six numbers and an alien.
"Approved".
Wait, what?!
We check the website repetitively to make sure it hasn't changed.
Two days later I receive a tracking number from the courier.
My passport is on its way.
I'm headed to my love.
And after 10 months, and three weeks...
I'm on the plane! I'm on the plane! I'M ON THE PLANE!
In ten hours I'll be with my love!
The head of the cabin crew announces that we'll soon be landing in Denver
It is minus 10 degrees celcius outside
Every passenger does a double take
We are the only plane landing at this time
The customs queue is short
I have read that I may be taken to a separate room for my customs interview
I am called
The officer doesn't make eye contact
I hand over my passport
And a thick sealed envelope from the embassy
Containing all my documents
X-rays, police certificates, birth certificates
And every address I have lived at since I was 16.
Right thumb on the screen please Miss Lyons.
(Right thumb on the screen).
When did you last leave the United States Miss Lyons?
I left at the end of August...
Silence.
I was here on a J1. For camp.
I know.
I laugh a little. He has still not made eye contact.
Four fingers of your right hand please Miss Lyons.
(Four fingers of my right hand on the screen).
You know you have 90 days to marry.
Yep!
He doesn't look up. He stamps my passport, places the envelope in a pile.
Congratulations. Thank you Miss Lyons. NEXT.
The world is covered in snow
And I'm with my love
Everything is going to be WONDERFUL!
Now we just have to get married!
- Published on
The US Embassy, London
The interview date has been set!
Next week I'll be with my love!
THE WAIT IS OVER!
The morning is bright and blue skied
It makes me nervous
Big events of my life usually happen in the rain.
I arrive at the Consulate
A folder two inches thick with paper under my arm
Duplicate copies of my application
Forms forms forms
DS160, I-134, medical report, birth certificates
Police certificate dated within the last six months
Passports
American standard passport pictures
Affidavits of support
Pictures
Evidence.
The check-in takes half an hour
I am given a ticket
I sit with a man from Manchester and a woman from Cambridge
His wife is in Austin
Coincidentally, so is Cambridge's husband
We have all been waiting 9-10 months for this day
We watch the sanitised images
Of the United States of America
Flash across the big screen at the end of the room
America knows how to put on a show
The Aaron Copland-esque soundtrack triumphantly plays across the heads of the waiting
America. Innovation. Diversity. See all that America has to offer.
My heart aches for my love and the land that will soon be my home.
I check my ticket number again. I110.
I101. I102. I103.
An hour later I am called to the window.
The woman behind the window is being trained.
She has never seen the software before and is being walked through
Step by step,
Click by interminable click,
The man training her is patient.
They are both kind and full of smiles.
I try to remember to breathe.
Page by page I hand over my documentation.
DS160, I-134, medical report, birth certificate
Police certificate dated within the last six months
Passports
American standard passport pictures
Affidavits of support
Please write your name on the back and sign here.
I am shaking. My mouth is dry.
Your application looks great Miss Lyons!
I smile.
The man asks for my Australian police certificate.
My heart and stomach simultaneously drop to the floor.
I don't have one.
He says I need a police check for every country I have lived in for more than two years from when I was sixteen.
Where does it say that?!
I ask him,
Where does it say that? The website asks for a police check dated within the last six months.*
He shrugs. It's very clear.
I am crying. No where does it say you need a police check from every country you have lived in for more than two years from the time you were sixteen.
Don't worry. It won't delay your application.
But I won't get my visa today?
No. But it won't take long. That's all you need.
I am so frustrated I want to scream.
Do you know how long it takes to get a piece of paper mailed from Australia?!
I wanted to leave yesterday. March. January.
They take my passport and pile of papers.
I am told to go and wait in the waiting area until my number is called again.
I sit and sob.
A man offers to get me a tissue.
I cannot speak.
Another hour passes. The video is back to the beginning.
America. Innovation. Diversity. See all that America has to offer.
I am called to another window.
The woman is kind and full of smiles.
I am still crying.
Okay Miss Lyons. Do you still intend to marry Aaron?
I nod through tears.
I need you to say it out loud honey.
Yes. Yes. A thousand times yes.
She smiles. Great. I'm just going to ask you a few questions.
How did you meet Aaron?
She has tissues ready.
Your application looks great, honey. It's all approved except for the police check. So once we have that we're good to go.
She hands me back my passport and a list of instructions.
Outside the sky is still infuriatingly blue.
*The immigration website has since been updated to reflect these changes.
Next week I'll be with my love!
THE WAIT IS OVER!
The morning is bright and blue skied
It makes me nervous
Big events of my life usually happen in the rain.
I arrive at the Consulate
A folder two inches thick with paper under my arm
Duplicate copies of my application
Forms forms forms
DS160, I-134, medical report, birth certificates
Police certificate dated within the last six months
Passports
American standard passport pictures
Affidavits of support
Pictures
Evidence.
The check-in takes half an hour
I am given a ticket
I sit with a man from Manchester and a woman from Cambridge
His wife is in Austin
Coincidentally, so is Cambridge's husband
We have all been waiting 9-10 months for this day
We watch the sanitised images
Of the United States of America
Flash across the big screen at the end of the room
America knows how to put on a show
The Aaron Copland-esque soundtrack triumphantly plays across the heads of the waiting
America. Innovation. Diversity. See all that America has to offer.
My heart aches for my love and the land that will soon be my home.
I check my ticket number again. I110.
I101. I102. I103.
An hour later I am called to the window.
The woman behind the window is being trained.
She has never seen the software before and is being walked through
Step by step,
Click by interminable click,
The man training her is patient.
They are both kind and full of smiles.
I try to remember to breathe.
Page by page I hand over my documentation.
DS160, I-134, medical report, birth certificate
Police certificate dated within the last six months
Passports
American standard passport pictures
Affidavits of support
Please write your name on the back and sign here.
I am shaking. My mouth is dry.
Your application looks great Miss Lyons!
I smile.
The man asks for my Australian police certificate.
My heart and stomach simultaneously drop to the floor.
I don't have one.
He says I need a police check for every country I have lived in for more than two years from when I was sixteen.
Where does it say that?!
I ask him,
Where does it say that? The website asks for a police check dated within the last six months.*
He shrugs. It's very clear.
I am crying. No where does it say you need a police check from every country you have lived in for more than two years from the time you were sixteen.
Don't worry. It won't delay your application.
But I won't get my visa today?
No. But it won't take long. That's all you need.
I am so frustrated I want to scream.
Do you know how long it takes to get a piece of paper mailed from Australia?!
I wanted to leave yesterday. March. January.
They take my passport and pile of papers.
I am told to go and wait in the waiting area until my number is called again.
I sit and sob.
A man offers to get me a tissue.
I cannot speak.
Another hour passes. The video is back to the beginning.
America. Innovation. Diversity. See all that America has to offer.
I am called to another window.
The woman is kind and full of smiles.
I am still crying.
Okay Miss Lyons. Do you still intend to marry Aaron?
I nod through tears.
I need you to say it out loud honey.
Yes. Yes. A thousand times yes.
She smiles. Great. I'm just going to ask you a few questions.
How did you meet Aaron?
She has tissues ready.
Your application looks great, honey. It's all approved except for the police check. So once we have that we're good to go.
She hands me back my passport and a list of instructions.
Outside the sky is still infuriatingly blue.
*The immigration website has since been updated to reflect these changes.
- Published on
a sample of the paperwork. sorry trees.
In November 2012
Over the slight crackle of
Another late night skype
We decided that if this long distance
Romance
Was going to continue
We needed to be together
On the same continent
And to do that, we needed to get married
In January
The air was cold
The trees were bare
We were warm and happy
In the cabin in the woods
And submitted our forms
For a K1 visa - the fiance visa
So we could be together.
I returned to London
With hope in my heart
My lease was due to finish in March
And we (rather optimistically) hoped it would be done and dusted by then
Save moving twice
The end of January rolled by
And then all of February
My lease expired
I moved to Ruislip in the middle of a snow storm
Every day I skyped my love
We sent emails and messages
Across the Atlantic
I love you
Today is the day!
I went to work
And ate and slept
And everyday checked the status of our application
And we heard
Precisely nothing
By April
I was feeling angsty
And angry and depressed
I was underpaid and
Under-appreciated at work
The Camino called
I quit my job
And left
On the 1st of May
My blue backpack and I
Went for a long walk
Started in France
Up and over the glorious Pyrenees
And into Spain
A month of walking
Waking, walking
"Pacing in a straight line"
Eating and sleeping
And talking to my love
And asking the universe
Please, please, please
Let TODAY be the day we hear something!
At the end of the walk
Still nothing
Not a word
I went back to England
Miserable, frustrated
Sick and tired
Anemic from a month in a country that actively despises vegetarians
Chilled by the coldest Spanish May in fifty years.
I needed a visa for camp
And went to the Consulate
Armed with paperwork
To show I would return to the UK
Even though I didn't want to.
The officer asked
Precisely nothing.
Three days later
I was on a jetplane
Headed for my love
Two months of summer
Bliss
Green leaves shimmering on the trees
Blue sky.
In the middle of rehearsal
We got the letter! It's been approved!
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry
The kids all cheered
The rehearsal had to continue
August. Now we'll know.
They've approved it.
Not long to go now.
A month at most.
Re-send all the documentation, and myself, to London.
September.
Not a word from the Consulate
Or the processing centre
Tiny nuggets of information
Discovered by combing forums
Stumbling across websites
More fees
More forms
The process has now been digitized.
Re-submit all the documentation, line by line
Online
The help line cannot help
Please register online
I submit my information to yet another website
My case now has 6 reference numbers
I still cannot speak to a human
The automated email responds
Please check the website
The homepage leads to a FAQ page
The FAQ page leads to a status page
The status page leads back to the homepage
I still have no information
All of September passes by
Then all of October
The leaves begin to change colour
And finally drop
We switch the heating on.
I'm living in comfort
I can work while I wait
I'm not fleeing war
Or famine
Or dire circumstances
Life is fine
But I want to be with my love
And the wait
Is awful.
Over the slight crackle of
Another late night skype
We decided that if this long distance
Romance
Was going to continue
We needed to be together
On the same continent
And to do that, we needed to get married
In January
The air was cold
The trees were bare
We were warm and happy
In the cabin in the woods
And submitted our forms
For a K1 visa - the fiance visa
So we could be together.
I returned to London
With hope in my heart
My lease was due to finish in March
And we (rather optimistically) hoped it would be done and dusted by then
Save moving twice
The end of January rolled by
And then all of February
My lease expired
I moved to Ruislip in the middle of a snow storm
Every day I skyped my love
We sent emails and messages
Across the Atlantic
I love you
Today is the day!
I went to work
And ate and slept
And everyday checked the status of our application
And we heard
Precisely nothing
By April
I was feeling angsty
And angry and depressed
I was underpaid and
Under-appreciated at work
The Camino called
I quit my job
And left
On the 1st of May
My blue backpack and I
Went for a long walk
Started in France
Up and over the glorious Pyrenees
And into Spain
A month of walking
Waking, walking
"Pacing in a straight line"
Eating and sleeping
And talking to my love
And asking the universe
Please, please, please
Let TODAY be the day we hear something!
At the end of the walk
Still nothing
Not a word
I went back to England
Miserable, frustrated
Sick and tired
Anemic from a month in a country that actively despises vegetarians
Chilled by the coldest Spanish May in fifty years.
I needed a visa for camp
And went to the Consulate
Armed with paperwork
To show I would return to the UK
Even though I didn't want to.
The officer asked
Precisely nothing.
Three days later
I was on a jetplane
Headed for my love
Two months of summer
Bliss
Green leaves shimmering on the trees
Blue sky.
In the middle of rehearsal
We got the letter! It's been approved!
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry
The kids all cheered
The rehearsal had to continue
August. Now we'll know.
They've approved it.
Not long to go now.
A month at most.
Re-send all the documentation, and myself, to London.
September.
Not a word from the Consulate
Or the processing centre
Tiny nuggets of information
Discovered by combing forums
Stumbling across websites
More fees
More forms
The process has now been digitized.
Re-submit all the documentation, line by line
Online
The help line cannot help
Please register online
I submit my information to yet another website
My case now has 6 reference numbers
I still cannot speak to a human
The automated email responds
Please check the website
The homepage leads to a FAQ page
The FAQ page leads to a status page
The status page leads back to the homepage
I still have no information
All of September passes by
Then all of October
The leaves begin to change colour
And finally drop
We switch the heating on.
I'm living in comfort
I can work while I wait
I'm not fleeing war
Or famine
Or dire circumstances
Life is fine
But I want to be with my love
And the wait
Is awful.
- Published on
I was at uni
And I was learning
And acting
And surrounded by amazing people
And I was so depressed
I was numb
I actually felt nothing
And I tortured myself
Literally and metaphorically
And kept asking
When will I ever be good enough
To do something amazing
And then I got to perform my own material
And I was like
Hey, I really like this
And then I got to travel the world
And my brain exploded with possibility
I was engaged
And we were gonna get married!
Everything was lovely!
We were in love!
And then we broke up
And I was miserable
And wondered when anything was ever going to stop feel like crying again
And I sat with my bestie at the markets
And said
"ARGH! What is next?!"
And the next day got an email about working in the theatre full-time, and getting an agent
And everything changed
(My bestie was lamenting that he would ever meet someone. Just over a year from that day, he was married).
And I got into drama school in London
And I packed my bags and moved to a whole other country
I got there
And was really broke
More broke than I'd ever been
I was living the dream
Of studying theatre in London
And I was miserable
My voice was shot
My self-esteem was invisble (again)
I couldn't get a job
And it got to the point
Where I had exactly one week's rent left in my savings
And that was it
And I won a scholarship
And I was able to stay
And then school was over
And I got to go back to camp
And I finally worked in the Music Shed
And taught voice
And realized I had a skill and a knack for teaching singing
And fell in love with it all over again
Back in London
I discovered what it was like
To be earning minimum wage
Less than the London living wage
And to work and work and work
And having nothing left
And you have to go back and do it all again
Because otherwise
Then you really have nothing
But sitting in offices around London
I'm getting paid to write my own material
And it feels wonderful
And liberating
I got to fall in love again
I got to work again, sometimes for what I felt I was worth
I'm going to perform my own material
We never know what's next
We have to do the work
And hope and pray
That it will work out
Sometimes it won't
But something else will come along
And it will be even better
Than what we could have hoped for
And if all else fails
Hide under the doona and watch cheesy Disney cartoons
Until you feel better
The end.
*And writing stuff like this reminds me that in my insanely privileged bubble... life ain't so bad. It may SEEM bad sometimes... but it's not so bad, you know?!
And I was learning
And acting
And surrounded by amazing people
And I was so depressed
I was numb
I actually felt nothing
And I tortured myself
Literally and metaphorically
And kept asking
When will I ever be good enough
To do something amazing
And then I got to perform my own material
And I was like
Hey, I really like this
And then I got to travel the world
And my brain exploded with possibility
I was engaged
And we were gonna get married!
Everything was lovely!
We were in love!
And then we broke up
And I was miserable
And wondered when anything was ever going to stop feel like crying again
And I sat with my bestie at the markets
And said
"ARGH! What is next?!"
And the next day got an email about working in the theatre full-time, and getting an agent
And everything changed
(My bestie was lamenting that he would ever meet someone. Just over a year from that day, he was married).
And I got into drama school in London
And I packed my bags and moved to a whole other country
I got there
And was really broke
More broke than I'd ever been
I was living the dream
Of studying theatre in London
And I was miserable
My voice was shot
My self-esteem was invisble (again)
I couldn't get a job
And it got to the point
Where I had exactly one week's rent left in my savings
And that was it
And I won a scholarship
And I was able to stay
And then school was over
And I got to go back to camp
And I finally worked in the Music Shed
And taught voice
And realized I had a skill and a knack for teaching singing
And fell in love with it all over again
Back in London
I discovered what it was like
To be earning minimum wage
Less than the London living wage
And to work and work and work
And having nothing left
And you have to go back and do it all again
Because otherwise
Then you really have nothing
But sitting in offices around London
I'm getting paid to write my own material
And it feels wonderful
And liberating
I got to fall in love again
I got to work again, sometimes for what I felt I was worth
I'm going to perform my own material
We never know what's next
We have to do the work
And hope and pray
That it will work out
Sometimes it won't
But something else will come along
And it will be even better
Than what we could have hoped for
And if all else fails
Hide under the doona and watch cheesy Disney cartoons
Until you feel better
The end.
*And writing stuff like this reminds me that in my insanely privileged bubble... life ain't so bad. It may SEEM bad sometimes... but it's not so bad, you know?!
- Published on
Perseid meteor shower
Opening night!
It’s opening niiiiight!
Well, almost
It’s also closing night
Four weeks of rehearsal
Dancers drilled
Notes pounded
Lights programmed
Sets built
Programs designed
Characters hones
For one night of show
It’s also the end of the summer
Almost time to leave this happy place
My fifth summer in six years
Second working on the musicals
My “Buck’s Rock babies”
As I call “my” kids
Over the years
I’ve watched them grow
Turn from awkward unsure ducklings
Into confident swans who know that
At least, if only here,
In the middle of the Connecticut woods
They have a home
Where they are accepted for who they are
Where they can express their creative selves
Freely and safely
Without ridicule
My first summer
I looked at the long-time returners
And shook my head
How could they keep coming back
Year after year?
Set up their lives around 8 weeks of summer camp?
But I too have kept returning
The one year I didn’t, a
Miserable cold wet Sydney winter
I pined for my American Brigadoon
And I returned
And fell in love all over again
With the place
With the people
With my role in this community of artists
Walking home from a late night tech
Beneath open night skies
Falling stars
And a maze of meteors
Whose lines are only sometimes visible
I am home.
It’s opening niiiiight!
Well, almost
It’s also closing night
Four weeks of rehearsal
Dancers drilled
Notes pounded
Lights programmed
Sets built
Programs designed
Characters hones
For one night of show
It’s also the end of the summer
Almost time to leave this happy place
My fifth summer in six years
Second working on the musicals
My “Buck’s Rock babies”
As I call “my” kids
Over the years
I’ve watched them grow
Turn from awkward unsure ducklings
Into confident swans who know that
At least, if only here,
In the middle of the Connecticut woods
They have a home
Where they are accepted for who they are
Where they can express their creative selves
Freely and safely
Without ridicule
My first summer
I looked at the long-time returners
And shook my head
How could they keep coming back
Year after year?
Set up their lives around 8 weeks of summer camp?
But I too have kept returning
The one year I didn’t, a
Miserable cold wet Sydney winter
I pined for my American Brigadoon
And I returned
And fell in love all over again
With the place
With the people
With my role in this community of artists
Walking home from a late night tech
Beneath open night skies
Falling stars
And a maze of meteors
Whose lines are only sometimes visible
I am home.
- Published on
Someone is waiting
Two someones actually
My love
And I
Waiting
For my visa to come through
So I can move to America
And we can be together
It's partly why I'm walking 780km across northern Spain
"Pacing in a straight line"
As Aaron's dad put it
Waiting in London I was going stir crazy
My life
Just a game of waiting
Filling time
We had optimistically booked a ticket for March
The visa didn't arrive
The plane left without me
And I sobbed in frustration
London stayed miserably cold and bleak
I worked hard
I spent time with friends
I tried to embrace London
I hoped to land an acting job
Nothing came
I felt lonely and frustrated
Dispirited, disinterested, and disenchanted
I got the idea to do the Camino again
This time solo
This was for me
It would fill the time
In a positive and productive way
I'm walking
My feet are sore
I'm meeting wonderful people
I'm breathing in the Spanish landscape
It's so beautiful
Every step
An affirmation that
I'm here
And a step closer
To my love
Hurry visa
I'll wait
I'll pace across Spain until you arrive
And give thanks to the universe
That I can be here
Buen camino
Don't stop walking
The journey
Is the destination
Is life
Is love and joy and heartbreak and beauty
And being
The end.
Two someones actually
My love
And I
Waiting
For my visa to come through
So I can move to America
And we can be together
It's partly why I'm walking 780km across northern Spain
"Pacing in a straight line"
As Aaron's dad put it
Waiting in London I was going stir crazy
My life
Just a game of waiting
Filling time
We had optimistically booked a ticket for March
The visa didn't arrive
The plane left without me
And I sobbed in frustration
London stayed miserably cold and bleak
I worked hard
I spent time with friends
I tried to embrace London
I hoped to land an acting job
Nothing came
I felt lonely and frustrated
Dispirited, disinterested, and disenchanted
I got the idea to do the Camino again
This time solo
This was for me
It would fill the time
In a positive and productive way
I'm walking
My feet are sore
I'm meeting wonderful people
I'm breathing in the Spanish landscape
It's so beautiful
Every step
An affirmation that
I'm here
And a step closer
To my love
Hurry visa
I'll wait
I'll pace across Spain until you arrive
And give thanks to the universe
That I can be here
Buen camino
Don't stop walking
The journey
Is the destination
Is life
Is love and joy and heartbreak and beauty
And being
The end.
- Published on
- Published on
There is a couple in the foyer
The wife is crying
The husband lifts the hood of her jacket
Kisses her forehead and laughs
They come up to the kiosk
And the husband says
"I just gave her the tickets,
She didn't know we were
Seeing the show tonight"
He is grinning from ear to ear
The wife is in shock
She is still crying a little
Perhaps the husband has been terrible
And he's making up for it
Perhaps he has been away
And this is a surprise date
Perhaps he has told her
A hundred times
"We're not going to the bloody theatre
It's too expensive"
And all the while has been saving
To buy her a ticket
The husband asks for a program
The wife looks at it like it might bite her
She is not sure what is happening
The husband buys the program
He offers to hold it
"So you won't get it soggy
With your tears
Love"
At the interval
The wife looks more relaxed
She buys a fridge magnet
"Isn't it a wonderful show?"
The husband is still grinning from ear to ear
Secretly proud
His ploy worked
Love, actually
Is everywhere
The end.
The wife is crying
The husband lifts the hood of her jacket
Kisses her forehead and laughs
They come up to the kiosk
And the husband says
"I just gave her the tickets,
She didn't know we were
Seeing the show tonight"
He is grinning from ear to ear
The wife is in shock
She is still crying a little
Perhaps the husband has been terrible
And he's making up for it
Perhaps he has been away
And this is a surprise date
Perhaps he has told her
A hundred times
"We're not going to the bloody theatre
It's too expensive"
And all the while has been saving
To buy her a ticket
The husband asks for a program
The wife looks at it like it might bite her
She is not sure what is happening
The husband buys the program
He offers to hold it
"So you won't get it soggy
With your tears
Love"
At the interval
The wife looks more relaxed
She buys a fridge magnet
"Isn't it a wonderful show?"
The husband is still grinning from ear to ear
Secretly proud
His ploy worked
Love, actually
Is everywhere
The end.