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I had two weeks of bliss
Commencing around New Year’s Day
Where I had no symptoms
The nausea was gone
The fatigue was gone
I had energy back
And I was starting to feel more like myself
I was writing every day
Practising yoga
Meditating
Cooking
Reading
Enjoying my imposed convalescence
Then I started a new chemo drug
It targets the chromosomal mutation
Which makes a relapse more likely
It also makes me
Nauseous
Curled-up-fetal-drained-of-all-energy-nauseous
Even-the-thought-of-food-makes-me-feel-awful-nauseous
And fatigued
And now my nails are falling off.
It started with a hairline crack in each thumbnail
Which became a second layer of nail
Starting half-way down and extending down to the nail edge
One by one, each finger developed double nail layers
Then the second layer started lifting.
On Thursday, the second nail on my right middle finger
Came right off
Exposing the skin
And hurting like hell
Band-aids are a marvelous modern
Convenient invention
I’m off the chemo drug again
Now I have to wait and see
If the nausea and fatigue go away.
In the meantime,
Keep meditating
Keep writing
Lay low
Be still
And breathe
This too shall pass.
Commencing around New Year’s Day
Where I had no symptoms
The nausea was gone
The fatigue was gone
I had energy back
And I was starting to feel more like myself
I was writing every day
Practising yoga
Meditating
Cooking
Reading
Enjoying my imposed convalescence
Then I started a new chemo drug
It targets the chromosomal mutation
Which makes a relapse more likely
It also makes me
Nauseous
Curled-up-fetal-drained-of-all-energy-nauseous
Even-the-thought-of-food-makes-me-feel-awful-nauseous
And fatigued
And now my nails are falling off.
It started with a hairline crack in each thumbnail
Which became a second layer of nail
Starting half-way down and extending down to the nail edge
One by one, each finger developed double nail layers
Then the second layer started lifting.
On Thursday, the second nail on my right middle finger
Came right off
Exposing the skin
And hurting like hell
Band-aids are a marvelous modern
Convenient invention
I’m off the chemo drug again
Now I have to wait and see
If the nausea and fatigue go away.
In the meantime,
Keep meditating
Keep writing
Lay low
Be still
And breathe
This too shall pass.
2 Comments
Sending u love from South Africa
You are so brave. Keep breathing, sending you all the strength I possess! So much love to you Lu xxx