Sometimes you think
What are you even doing here?!
You left Australia to pursue your dreams
And trip the light fantastic!
And then there was drama school
And Aaron
And stupid forking cancer
And an even more stupid entirely preventable pandemic
And raising a puppy
And trying to make peace with living
In a place you didn’t want to be
And dealing with the dumpster fire of hell that is New Jersey Transit
And then there was divorce
(To quote Sondheim
“One word means all that”)
And so much heartbreak
And (to quote Jonathan Larson)
Revolving door roommates
And working all the jobs to pay rent
And just get by
And here you are panicking because
It’s almost fifteen whole years since you boarded that plane
And what exactly are you doing?!

And then your friend invites you to see a show
By a comedian you knew nothing about until tonight
And it’s a show all about being a theatre kid
And you’re surrounded by fellow musical dorks
(Who are actually, in your very humble opinion
The coolest people in the world)
And there is storytelling and laughing and singing
And it reminds you why you’re here
Because despite the absolute forkery that is
The Business of Show
This theatre thing
Oh lawd help you
It is your heart and soul
Your first language
The thing that you keep coming back to
Through heartbreak and struggle and all the forkery
A bit of singing and dancing makes it all better
Easier to bear
And when you take a breath
You remember you have done extraordinary wonderful thrilling things
That if you told Younger You you were doing
She would lose her goddamn mind

So what am I doing here?
I’m doing the thing I came here to do
One day at a time
Imperfectly, to the best of my ability
With the resources I have on hand and
(The best part)
Surrounded by a glorious group of
Theatre kids.