I have always loved running. 

Three years ago I was training for a half marathon
And then I got cancer.

A year-and-a-half ago I was signed up to run a 5km race
Then had to drop out two days before because my counts dropped too low. 

Nine months ago I signed up with a personal trainer
She whipped my butt but she got me moving again. 

And on Saturday
After 23 weeks of training 
I ran a half marathon
And it felt So. Damn. Good. 

The past few years have been such a rollercoaster. 
Not just physically, but emotionally too
Depression and anxiety have been slaying me
I have had trouble getting out of bed
And then I had panic attacks before heading out the front door.

But I always feel good when I’m running 
The aches and pains that bother me when I’m not moving 
Seem to go away when I’m running
(Knock on wood) 

I’ve been training with the Nike+ Run Club App
It’s such an incredible resource (and free!) 
You plug in the date of your race,
Your level of fitness and experience
And it builds a training program 
That adapts itself as you complete (or miss) the runs. 
It got to me a level of fitness I’ve never had before. 

Mid-way through the training
A friend sent me a copy of Born to Run 
It was a game changer 
It got me thinking about running in a whole new way
I went from enjoying running
To being passionate about it. 

Race day was so thrilling 
The sea of people in active wear
The people who come to cheer on their friends and family members and perfect strangers 
The homemade signs 
You’re running better than our government! 
You’re almost at Nathan’s! and 
Tap to Power Up! beneath pictures of Mario Kart mushrooms and stars

The volunteers at the fluid stations
Pouring cups of water and gatorade
Cheering the runners as we zip through
Looking great runners! Keep it up! 

The bands dotted sporadically throughout the course
Rock bands and jazz bands, and at one point, a lone fiddle player 

The way the runners encourage each other 
As we passed mile markers, a runner would call out the mile number
And everyone would cheer.

In the last 800m of the race
My playlist switched to “Put on Your Sunday Clothes” from Hello, Dolly! 
Out there, there’s a world outside of Yonkers! 
I got so emotional 
I’m doing the things! Running feels amazing again! 
I’m healthy and I’m here
It feels like forever since I've felt this good. 

I was tired at the end
Needed a nap and two dinners, 
But I wasn’t dead
I could actually walk the next day without pain and
Two days later I was ready for another run. 
Yesterday, I did my first training run for the NYC Marathon. 

Bring it on. ​

It feels like Christmas Eve! The Tony Award nominations are being announced in approximately seven hours and I feel the desire to share my predictions. 

I am delighted to say that I have seen two-thirds of this year’s potential nominees (and I worked on one! Even if it was in front of house, it's so thrilling to be a part of this crazy, awesome world). Huge improvement on two years ago when I had seen precisely ZERO shows! 

Below are my predictions for the 2017 Tony Awards in all the musical categories. It’s not that I don’t love plays, I just don’t see enough of them to make an informed decision, because time and money. A theatre junkie living in New York needs to have some kind of limits. My predicted winner is in bold. 

Best Actor in a Featured Role 
Andrew Rannells - Falsettos 
Lucas Steele - Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812 
Gavin Creele - Hello, Dolly! 

Best Actor in a Musical
Josh Groban - Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812
Ben Platt - Dear Evan Hansen 
Christian Borle - Falsettos
Andy Karl - Groundhog Day
David Hyde Pierce - Hello, Dolly! 

Best Actress in a Featured Role 
Jen Colella - Come From Away 
Caroline O’Connor - Anastasia
Rachel Bay Jones - Dear Evan Hansen
Jackie Hoffman - Charlie and the Chocolate Factory 

Best Actress in a Musical 
Patti LuPone - War Paint 
Christine Ebersole - War Paint 
Bette Midler - Hello, Dolly
Denée Benton - Natasha, Pierre & The Great Comet of 1812 
(For this category alone, I do not envy the Tony voters their job… HOW DO YOU CHOOSE?!) 

Best Book of a Musical
Dear Evan Hansen
Come from Away
Natasha, Pierre & The Great Comet of 1812

Best Choreography  
Come from Away
Anastasia 
Hello, Dolly! 
Holiday Inn
Groundhog Day 
(Again, how do you choose?!) 

Best Conductor/Musical Director 
Sunset Boulevard 
In Transit 
Come From Away 
Bandstand
(I'm sad that In Transit is unlikely to get much love here. It was conducted entirely by SOUND, with MD Rick Hip-Flores giving cues via a microphone backstage. The logistics of that blows my mind.) 

Best Costume Design
Hello, Dolly! 
Natasha, Pierre & The Great Comet of 1812
War Paint 

Best Lighting Design 
Natasha, Pierre & The Great Comet of 1812
Dear Evan Hansen 
War Paint 

Best Scenic Design
Natasha, Pierre & The Great Comet of 1812
Groundhog Day
War Paint
Hello, Dolly! 

Best Orchestrations 
In Transit 
Come from Away 
Hello, Dolly! 
Natasha, Pierre & The Great Comet of 1812

Best Score
Anastasia 
Come from Away
Dear Evan Hansen
Natasha, Pierre & The Great Comet of 1812

Best Direction
Come From Away
Natasha, Pierre & The Great Comet of 1812
War Paint 
Dear Evan Hansen

Best Revival 
Hello, Dolly! 
Falsettos 
Miss Saigon

Best Musical
Natasha, Pierre & The Great Comet of 1812
Dear Evan Hansen 
Come from Away 
Anastasia 
War Paint 

WHAT A SEASON!!! I genuinely loved the vast majority of what I saw this year. I think Come from Away will nab a good number of the awards simply because it opened later and is fresher in voters’ minds. Producer Ken Davenport did a blog a while ago on the fact that shows that open in the fall do not fare as well as shows that open in the spring come awards season. 

But honestly, how do you compare all these wonderful pieces of art? Natasha, Pierre is immersive and scintillating while Come from Away is moving and heart-warming. War Paint and Hello, Dolly! tell the stories of powerful, wonderful, complex women. Anastasia shows us that “children’s” movies do not have to be light and fluffy. Dear Evan Hansen is tapping into the psyches of anguished teens. And all of these shows are using different styles of music, story-telling devices, and conventions of musical theatre. They all sing and dance and tell powerful stories. I feel so very lucky to have been witness to it all. 

After 31 previews and 366 regular performances, Cirque du Soleil’s Paramour played its final performance on Broadway today. 

Working in front of house for the past four or five months, I have been an infinitesimal speck in the run of this production. 

The show is not groundbreaking. It is not the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. It presents a world inhabited by mostly white people, where people of color never speak. Gay men are the punchline of jokes, and gay women do not exist. Women may be stars, but they have no agency. Even when they can sing, act, dance, and write moving lyrics, their sole function is to be the pivotal point of a love triangle. 

And yet, Paramour will always hold a special place in my heart.

It’s my first job on Broadway. It got me into the illusive ushers union. It has inspired me in my quest for physical fitness. Throughout the run, I have made friends with some truly wonderful people who I’m really going to miss spending time with 8 times a week. 

Circus invites us to see the world in a more whimsical and playful way. It’s a world where people walk on their hands, fly from the ceiling, and balance roses on their foreheads. 

The level of athleticism and artistry of the acrobats is out of control amazing. I have gotten fitter as a result of watching this team of athletes do their thing 8 times a week. They inspire me to be better, work harder. Most of the acrobats are men, but there is one woman who stands out, Gasya Atherton. She is awe-inspiring to watch. Follow her on Instagram for inspirational photos of a beautiful human being being amazing. 

The Atherton Twins are astonishing. I understand why people are always moved to try and film during their number. I don't understand the people who are bored during their number. One night I had to stop a woman from watching a fashion show on her phone mid-performance. If two beautiful half-naked men swinging from the ceiling above your head in perfect unison doesn't hold your attention, I don't know what will. To my knowledge, the twins haven't missed a single show. I can't wait to see what they'll do next.

I love Cooper, the Clown. He doesn't speak a word, yet he just about steals every scene he's in. He's always interesting to watch, always on, even when he's not the focus. 

I love the unicycle act. I love the dancing in the Calamity Jane number. I love the audible gasp that comes from the balcony when the zombies descend. I love the trampoline act. 

The best part of working on Paramour has been finding a community of creative people. Actors, writers, lovers of theatre. People working on fascinating projects and doing what they can to survive in this intense crazy city. Just really lovely people who are easy to have a conversation with. ​

So, au revoir Paramour. You will be missed. 

It’s a bleak and dismal day in New York. The mercury deigned to get out of bed and rise to 4C/39F, but it’s very seriously considering just going back to sleep and leaving the rest of us to freeze. In solidarity, the rain is cold and wet and alternating between liquid and icy particles. It’s a day for hot chocolates and snuggling under a doona and reading a good novel. 

My running training app does not factor in weather. It cares not for snow storms or rainy days or 40C/104F days. The delightful thing is that 10 weeks into my training program for the Brooklyn Half (less than two months to go!), I’m finally at a point where I too am not deterred by the weather. My muscles want to go running. They feel better when they run. Running feels good. 

So, even though looking out the window was not enticing for a run, I put on my sneakers, donned a bright pink beanie, and headed to the park. 

On a nice day, Prospect Park is filled with hundreds of runners and walkers and bikers and rollerbladers. Today, I counted a grand total of five other people. We all smiled and waved as we passed each other. You’re out in this too! Look at us go! 

While humans were scarce, the geese were out in force. Heads down, bums up, they were waddling through the mud collecting juicy worms bought up by the rain. 

By the end of the run, my jacket was drenched from the rain, but I felt warm and fuzzy. Running feels good again! 5.5km feels easy again! And like the ducks and geese, I’m celebrating in the rain.  ​

Someone once asked me when I was going to quit front of house and get a “real job”. It may not be the most complex or highly skilled form of employment on the planet, but being a part of ensuring the safety, well-being, and enjoyable experience for up to 1900 people in a room eight times a week is a real job. And one that I absolutely love.

I have worked in front of house, on and off, for over a decade. I’ve been an usher in Sydney, London, and New York. I’ve worked in tiny black box theatres, an opera house (not the Sydney one, though I have sung there with various choirs), and commercial theatres with up to 1900 seats. It’s a job that was my staple through two degrees, and been my constant while I try and get a job on the stage. Australian performer Paul Capsis started out as an usher. As did Caroline O’Connor.

Becoming an usher occurred thanks to a fortuitous happenstance. I was at university in Sydney, and one day was babysitting a cousin in the city. My aunt and I agreed to meet at the MLC Center. I was a little early and saw a sign for the Theatre Royal. I was on the look out for a new job, and decided to go in and ask if they were hiring. I met the delightful Trish Charan, who remains to this day one of the best bosses and human beings on the planet. I interviewed, got the job, and officially left seven years later when I moved to London.

I love getting paid to watch theatre. I love being on a long run and being able to see the same show 8 times a week. On a good show, it’s like being paid to take a masterclass. On a weaker show, it’s a masterclass in how not to do theatre. Terrible shows are when the front of house team really bands together.

On a long run, the show itself (usually) remains the same, but understudies, new cast members, and the audience itself, can make every night new.

The house has a different feel for each show. School groups, groups of pensioners, matinees, Friday nights, shows on or around significant holidays, all impact the feel of the room and the smoothness of an evening.

It’s not always wonderful. Constantly telling people to turn their goddamn phones off and explaining for the umpteenth time, that “No, silent mode is not off. The screen is glowing, therefore it is on. Please. Turn. It. Off.”

Constantly reminding people they cannot take photos or film the show. You weren’t taking a photo of your child. You weren’t just checking a message. WE CAN SEE YOU. STOP DOING IT.

Explaining late seating. Explaining that yes, your 3 month old baby does require a ticket.

Dealing with drunk patrons. Dealing with screaming babies. Dealing with the couple who decided they would just pop forward to the empty seats in the middle of the front row once the lights went down and refusing to move when the latecomers arrive for those seats.

I’ve watched a couple pick each others noses. I’ve heard plenty of stories of frisky couples who just couldn’t wait to get home and thought they couldn’t be seen in the dark (you can be seen, and, yes, we’re watching you). I’ve seen a few people faint. I’ve seen a drunk woman run onto the stage at curtain call. I've helped deal with patrons whose tickets were stolen. I've seen people turn up on the wrong night. I've seen people show up at the finale asking to be let in.

It’s the live immediacy that I love. Hearing the collective gasp of an audience. Seeing an audience erupt with waves of appreciation and joy at the curtain call. Talking with patrons at intermission and hearing their stories. The thrill that courses through the front of house team when there’s a celebrity in. It's not every day you get to sell a program to the Queen of Spain.

The people I’ve had the pleasure of working with make is what makes front of house one of the best jobs. Most are “resting” actors, performers in-between gigs (or still waiting for gigs). There are also researchers, medical students, artists, writers, and retirees. People from all walks of life, all different backgrounds who share a love of theatre. You become close working together 8 shows a week for months on end.

It’s not the most glamorous or well-paid (especially in the U.S.) job, but I love it. If I’m lucky, one day I’ll be one of the white-haired treasures who've been ushering for a thousand years.

Until my job is being on the stage, I'll happily take your tickets, show you to your seat, and join you in celebrating the joy of participating in live theatre. It's one of the most unreal jobs in the world.

There are performers 
Audra, Julie, Bernadette, Liza, Patti, Chita, Barbra, Bette
Whose reputations precede them
“Living legends”
“Broadway Divas” 

It’s one thing to watch your heroes on the screen
Over and over again in your living room
To listen to the cast recordings and soundtracks on repeat 
But nothing beats the real life 
In the flesh
Live performance 

There’s always a little fear in seeing them
What if they’re not as good as they are on film? 
What if they just don’t got it anymore
You hear stories

When I saw Liza in 2013
Friends warned against even buying tickets
She had a reputation for not showing up 
And sure, her top notes weren’t what they once were
But she was breath-taking 

And last night
I got to see Bette
When she appeared on stage
The audience leapt to its feet 
The love in that room was overwhelming 
(Roxy: I love the audience and they love me and we just love each other...) 

Can Bette sing as high as she used to? 
Does she dance like she used to? 
Does she do it like Barbra? 
No. 

But Bette doesn’t need to be Barbra
She’s Bette 
And when you see her on that stage
You know why Bette Midler is Bette “the Divine Miss M” Midler 
She radiates warmth and energy and charisma 
She's damn funny 
And boy does she know how to work a room

The great thing about a show like Hello, Dolly 
Is that it’s written for an older woman
It doesn’t require huge belting because
Dolly uses her charm and humor and wits to navigate the world 
And you fall in love with her over and over again

The production is sumptuous and gorgeously realized
The costumes border on garish they are so bright
The color palette is like something out of a technicolor candy store
Are we in heaven or in danger of overdoing on sugar? 
Jerry Herman’s score is sublime. You can’t help but feel happy
The vocal arrangements gave me goosebumps
Those harmonies just lift your soul and make you want to dance
The gorgeous choreography 
Expertly executed by a delightful ensemble
It’s all a visual and auditory feast 
That manages to be a wholly separate experience from the movie 
It is uplifting and marvelous musical theatre
At its best

It’s not perfect 
While there were people of color in the ensemble 
I would love to have seen more diverse casting in the supporting roles 
The performers were truly terrific, but the overwhelming whiteness is frustrating

I dreamt about the show all night 
And woke up still on a high 
After a tough few weeks battling a particularly nasty bout of depression
This infusion of light has been desperately needed 

So thank you Miss Midler 
And your luminous team 
For doing what you do
And doing it so well.

It was with great sadness today
That I learnt of Amy Krouse Rosenthal's passing 
She is (was?) a writer and artist I have long admired 
Her "7 notes on life" 
Became guiding lights for me 

The way she played with words
Made whimsy out of the everyday 
The Beckoning of Lovely
My first encounter with The Bean 
​Money growing on trees 

She attempted a collaborative project 
A kind of pre-cursor to HitRecord
The movie wasn't great
And she owned it 
She said, "this isn't my best work. I'm going back to the drawing board"
And back she went 
And wrote wonderful books

And today I read
She has died of
Stupid fucking cancer

In the weeks before her death,
In true Amy KR style,
She penned a letter in the New York Times
Explaining why women might want to marry her husband
Her astonishing ability to capture the magic of words and life
Even as she was dying. 

And so, we shall. 

In honor of International Women's Day, here are ten female characters from the world of musical theatre that I love! 

10. Julie Andrews: Maria/Mary/Millie 
Ok, Dame Julie Andrews isn’t a character in a musical, but I grew up watching Mary Poppins and The Sound of Music on repeat, and three of her characters were a huge influence on my younger self.

Mary Poppins (from Mary Poppins), Maria (from The Sound of Music), and Millie (from Thoroughly Modern Millie) were all outspoken, forthright women, who sang and danced to make life more bearable and magical. The indomitable spirits of these characters changed the lives of the people they encountered for the better, and enchanted millions of viewers around the world. 

Julie is a writer, producer, and director, and comes across the most genuine and wonderful human being on the planet. You don’t even know how excited I am for Julie’s Greenroom. ​

Happy International Women’s Day!